tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-194881332024-03-13T12:17:24.373-07:00Highland IslandThe day-to-day life of island teuchters - "We boldy go where no ram has gone before"Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.comBlogger203125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-90930522866991409142021-07-23T13:47:00.005-07:002021-07-23T15:12:44.187-07:00Black Sheep Matter <p>As lockdown eases its grip on the island, controversy takes hold once more. </p><p>Doors unlock for the first time in months. Shutters creak open. Curtains twitch. The islanders venture forth again.</p><p>Big Maggie Ann steps out from the dark of her front lobby and on to her door step. Like a giant grizzly bear waking from hibernation, she raises her arms, stretching them high above her head and yawns. Her single yellow tooth protrudes with all the prowess of a rhino horn (minus the aphrodisiac content, of course). Maggie sniffs the morning air, then lowers her arms and shuts her mouth. She staggers backward, nauseated by a putrid smell. Even Maggie could tell that the time had come to scrub her armpits and brush her tooth.</p><p>Maggie turns to re-enter her home, when a commotion down The Lane stops her mid move. She cranes her neck back outside once more and bellows out, "You alright down there Magnus?"</p><p>Earlier that morning, Magnus the Bobby had pumped up his bicycle tyre and cycled to the scene of a complaint, down The Lane. Magnus now sniffs the air, covers his nose with his police-issue cotton handkerchief and answers.</p><p>"Get back inside, Big Maggie. There's an awful whiff in the air and I'm here on official police business."</p><p>"Now Magnus, last time you came sniffing round here, Daft Uisdean was conceived."</p><p>Magnus the Bobby rushes to her door. "Hush Maggie. Lower your voice." He looks left and right before whispering. "Maggie, you know I'm not the boy's father."</p><p>Maggie whispers back. "I'll be quiet if you tell me what you are doing down The Lane."</p><p>"Okay, its..."</p><p>"It's what? Spit it out Magnus." Maggie opens her mouth and threatens him with her yellow tooth.</p><p>Magnus the Bobby cowers. "Okay. Okay. It's the little boy who lives down The Lane. We've had a tip off... about numerous bags of sheep wool there."</p><p>"Numerous bags?" asks Maggie.</p><p>"Yes. The tip off came from BaBa, the black sheep on Torquil's croft. He said that he only had three bags full of wool. He gave one to his Master, Torquil, and one to the Dame that lives with Wullie Spanners. The little boy who lives down The Lane should have the other remaining bag. But, the black sheep reckons that the little boy who lives down The Lane has seventy three bags of wool! So, I'm here on official police business to count the bags."</p><p>"Can you count that high, Magnus?" asks Maggie.</p><p>Magnus ignores Maggie's insult, licks his pencil lead and refers to his black notebook. " I counted one bag of black wool and seventy two bags of white."</p><p>"So... what's the problem? The boy who lives down The Lane does have BaBa black sheep's other one bag of wool. Never mind about the other seventy two bags."</p><p>Magnus splutters and chokes. His face reddens and blue veins begin to protrude on his forehead. "Maggie! You cant say never mind. This is a clear case of colour prejudice against black sheep and an outright bias towards white sheep."</p><p>"But Magnus... BaBa is the only black sheep we have on the Highland Island. If all the other sheep are white then they cant produce black wool."</p><p>"Precisely!" Magnus snaps his notebook shut and returns it to his breast pocket.</p><p>"You've lost me there, Magnus."</p><p>Magnus tucks his thumbs under his arm pits, sticks out his elbows and struts like a rooster. "Clear case of colour prejudice and inequality. Once I've pumped up the tyre on my bicycle again, I'm on my way to Torquil's croft to tell him."</p><p>"Tell him what?"</p><p>"Isn't it obvious Maggie? Torquil needs to import at least seventy one more black sheep to fix this blatant inequality. And, immediately!"</p><p>Maggie grins one of her wicked toothy grins. She taps Magnus the Bobby on the shoulder and tells him to turn around. </p><p>Magnus spins around on his police-issue brogues, stumbles to the ground and lands face to face with a pink sheep, a sparkly gold sheep and several preened multi-coloured sheep.</p><p>"Hi there," said the sheep. "So, you'll be telling Torquil that he needs more gay sheep, bi-sexual sheep, trans gender sheep, trans-sexual sheep and queer sheep, too?"</p><p>Big Maggie Ann shuts her door on a bemused and speechless Magnus, as she retires inside to scrub her armpits and brush her tooth.</p><p><br /></p>Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-49680323898860441142017-02-03T13:23:00.002-08:002017-02-03T13:23:40.976-08:00Whitewash House Press Release<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEganQ4Vc9-rou8Zcxylj3zLn5XRAwkNFyNYInKk5NibCLYM-ymlhHcELSXu0lPkoJTlPRvDNaSLOoqQBBtUbaL0bzHBvLK8-TL1x2O40jGBQga6drOSy_reKQZI59S59Oq7W9hFyg/s1600/Screenshot+2017-02-03+21.21.31.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEganQ4Vc9-rou8Zcxylj3zLn5XRAwkNFyNYInKk5NibCLYM-ymlhHcELSXu0lPkoJTlPRvDNaSLOoqQBBtUbaL0bzHBvLK8-TL1x2O40jGBQga6drOSy_reKQZI59S59Oq7W9hFyg/s640/Screenshot+2017-02-03+21.21.31.png" width="513" /></a></div>
<br />Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-28620762253831443162017-01-27T03:18:00.003-08:002017-01-27T03:27:03.625-08:00Dòmhnall MacTrumpet's Quality Holiday AccomodationWell, you heard it here first! <br />
<br />
Back in 2006 I posted the following advert for Dòmhnall MacTrumpet, of MacTrumpet Towers', Quality Holiday Homes here on the Island.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, due to 'other responsibilities', which must take president, (sorry I meant precedence) at his new home in the 'Whitewashed House', Dòmhnall MacTrumpet's Quality Holiday Homes are now owned and run by his 'son', Daft Uisdean. <br />
<br />
Daft Uisdean states that he will not be entering into any communication with his 'father', Dòmhnall MacTrumpet, regarding the running of this business. Uisdean is currently taking bookings for summer 2017!<br />
<br />
To refresh your memories, here is the advert again.<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
--------------------------------------------------------------------</div>
<br />
Welcome to "The Dòmhnall's" Quality Holiday Homes, at MacTrumpet Towers at The Ferry Terminal.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6765/1929/1600/DSCN2286.0.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6765/1929/200/DSCN2286.0.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;" /></a>All our quality homes have sea view and are located in sheltered positions, protected from sea breezes by the bank to the west of the island dump.<br />
<br />
Homes are rented on a self-catering basis for weekend or full week rentals.<br />
<br />
Upgraded to high standards! Sleeps 2 - 26, with detatchable sheep pen. Goats welcome. Llamas must be house-trained.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6765/1929/1600/DSCN2106.0.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6765/1929/200/DSCN2106.0.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px;" /></a>As pictured, full laundry facilities with running water. New forest green high-technology waste-disposal unit, in the latest portable form. Washing can be done behind the privacy of a newly built wall. Portable wind-breaker, complete with new poles and tent pegs, is supplied for the privacy from poachers and farm vehicles aproaching from open fields to the side and rear.<br />
<br />
The latest in hair salon accessories, pictured between the upright brown laundry and the forest green sanitation and waste-disposal unit, can be effectively used for hair-washing days.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6765/1929/1600/DSCN2141.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6765/1929/200/DSCN2141.jpg" style="cursor: pointer; float: left; margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px;" /></a><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
En suite bathrooms available on request.<br />
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<br />
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For reservations, availability and prices email Torquil at - <a href="mailto:highlandisland@verizon.net">highlandisland@verizon.net</a>Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-42989385072041745452016-07-05T12:28:00.000-07:002016-07-05T12:30:57.447-07:00All this nonsense about leaving the eEweFor goodness sake, take a lesson from Little Bo Peep. Now Ms Bo Peep she lost her eEwe and didn't know where to find it. 'Leave it alone and it will come home wagging its tail behind it', was the advice given back then. And, everyone lived happily ever after.<br />
<br />
Did you listen to the advice given? Did you leave the eEwe alone? No you didn't. You had to go stravaging off to the polling station down in the back room of Jean's wool shop and put your cross in a box. Some of you voted to get the eEwe back while others wanted the eEwe to get to France and join Le Gigot d'Agneau party.<br />
<br />
Now did the eEwe get a say in whether it stayed with the flock or whether trailed its clapdarnachs all the way to France to join Le Gigot d'Agneau party? No it didn't and before she loses another leg to Le Mint Sauce Brigade can we think again?<br />
<br />
I call upon you all to, therefore, sign the following petition (by signing in the comments box) to have the eEwe referendum overturned, so that Edna the eEwe can make her own mind up whether to stay or go.<br />
<br />
Yours respectfully<br />
<br />
The Flock<br />
<br />
P.S. As Edna the eEwe only has three legs now, could Woodworm Willie help with some prosthesis?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-60509104167277057872015-11-13T15:50:00.001-08:002015-11-13T15:50:21.360-08:00Highland Island Marathon 1914<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The fossilised remains of a marathon runner has been found in the woods, 5 miles north of the ferry terminal. </div>
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The island's police forensics team, PC Hugh Dunnett and Magnus the Bobby form the mainland, have dissected a section from the fossilised marathon runner's foot. According to the number of rings found on the dissected bunion, they estimate that the contestant stopped running in 1914. </div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Anyone who feels that they lost a grandparent around 1914 and suspects that they might descend from fossilised wood, please contact Woodworm Willie at Woodworm Willie's Funeral Services in order to assist with identification of the deceased.</div>
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DNA services can be provided by 'Tongue in Cheek Swabs Ltd.' Hopefully, they will have this case licked in no time at all.</div>
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Once the identity of the fossilised runner has been established, a re-run of the event will be announced. </div>
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<br />Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-46419951823743961302015-11-13T15:19:00.001-08:002015-11-13T15:19:34.204-08:00Update on the post of 'Careful-Now-In-Case-You-Trip Advisor'Regrettably, the position of '<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;">Careful-Now-In-Case-You-Trip Advisor' remains vacant.</span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;">All candidates fell, short of </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;">requirements. </span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, serif;"><br /></span>Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-51096937942841774652015-08-19T07:56:00.002-07:002015-08-19T08:00:38.487-07:00Careful-Now-In-Case-You-Trip AdvisorDue to increased awareness of the Health and Safety at Work Act, 1974, the Highland Island wishes to employ a "Careful-Now-In-Case-You-Trip Advisor".<br />
<br />
The successful candidate should possess the following -<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Adequate vision or suitable corrective lenses</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>A fully functioning clipboard</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>The ability to advise islanders and visitors repeatedly, with the phrase "Careful now in case you trip". </li>
</ul>
<br />
Auditions for the "Careful-Now-In-Case-You-Trip Advisor," will be held in the church hall on Friday at 8pm. An obstacle course will be provided but volunteer potential trippers are required to assist with auditions.<br />
<br />
The position is full time and salary will be determined according to previous trip advising.<br />
<br />Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-54821987903099238032014-12-22T14:33:00.001-08:002014-12-22T15:49:38.062-08:00Recent Elbowla Crisis<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Oh what a kerfuffle!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span lang="EN-US">We would like to appologise for the recent
closure of all ferry routes to the island, due to lack of customers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the Lighthouse Mannie said, the lights are on but no one has been at home since the great Elbowla Crisis evacuation.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">(You might want to get a cup of clapdarnach
tea, and sit down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This could be a long
tale.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">It all started at the 2014 January sales, the great Elbowla Crisis.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Big Maggie Ann first noticed the large
basket of cut-price, hand-knitted underpants in the Wool Shop window, marked
50% off. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Off she limped to get her sleeping bag, her
overnight anti-wrinkle cream, her paraffin stove, a soup pan, bag of potatoes,
2 leeks and a packet of Knorr chicken stock cubes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She returned at 9 pm on Hogmanay to claim her
place at the head of the queue outside the Wool Shop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">By 9.30pm she was joined by Woodworm
Willie, Wullie Spanners and 124 bottles of the finest Clapdarnach Cooking
Whisky.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">News travels fast and by 9.31 pm a street
party was in full swing, outside the Wool Shop.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Diligent Jean -- owner of the Wool Shop -- however, took 2 Mogadon,
inserted her ear plugs, retiring to bed at 10 pm in preparation for the New
Year’s Day Sale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Rising early, she
vacuumed her knitted floor rugs, pulled up the knitted window blinds and opened
the shop door ready for the onslaught of bargain hunters, eager to claim cut-price,
hand-knitted underpants.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Nothing stirred, except for the heavy sound
of snoring, coming from an entanglement of intertwined bodies, piled up on the
pavement.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Beside them sat 124 empty
bottles.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Cut-price underpants!” she called.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
the middle of the body mass, a large brown eye opened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">“Underpants!” cried Big Maggie Ann.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wriggling her large frame around inside the
knot of bodies, she accidentally Elbowla-ed Wullie Spanners in the groin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Underpants!” cried Woodworm Willie,
accidentally Elbowla-ing The Reverend Brimstone in his dog collar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Underpants!” called PC Hugh Dunnett while
Elbowla-ing Daft Uisdean’s sweaty oxter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“Underpants!” everyone shouted, as everyone Elbowla-ed each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Poor Cyril’s Nosecone was Elbowla-ed completely
out of shape.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">Jean telephoned the mainland for help.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Hello, is that you Magus the Bobby from the
Mainland?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you pump up your bicycle
tyre very quickly and get here on the next ferry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The whole island is in a tangle and we have a
massive outbreak<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>of Elbowla-ing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hurry!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Bring the Coastguard Mannie, sailors, as many boy scouts as you can
find, or anyone who knows how to unravel knots."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">But no one could unravel the knot of arms
and legs and so the large body mass of islanders was lifted by crane and loaded
onboard a Chinese Shipping Line Cargo Ship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It sailed away, bound for Shanghai, and we haven’t heard from anyone
since.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">As it was mother’s bath night, I was busy
changing her catheter, so I missed the Elbowla Outbreak.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">The island has been so quiet all year, just
me, Jean at the Wool Shop and the Lighthouse Mannie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span lang="EN-US">I'll try the Ham Radio again. “Hello Shanghai.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Come in Shanghai.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh it’s no use.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nobody seems to be answering.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-16597055431044928012013-07-06T10:59:00.001-07:002013-07-06T11:05:50.517-07:00Magical Portal Loos<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Don't be mistaken... these are no ordinary toilet facilities, parked behind the Free Church. They may be temporary and basic to look at but these Portal Loos are not for the fainthearted.<br />
<br />
I entered, shut the door, and did my business all very normally. But, I flushed the handle and...WHOOSH! When I opened the door I found my Portal Loo balancing on top of the Matterhorn in the Pennine Alps, 14,690 ft high and looking down on the town of Zermatt. <br />
<br />
Fortunately, I managed to unzip and sit down, before depositing a shock-induced No.2. However, when I flushed again... WHOOSH! The next destination turned out to be a beach in sunny Torremolinos, in the Costa del Sol.<br />
<br />
Sixteen destinations later, I opened the door to see Daft Uisdean hopping cross-legged and holding his crotch. (Thankfully, I'd landed back behind the Free Church.) "Quick! I need to go," he said. He pulled me out of the Portal Loo and jumped inside.<br />
<br />
It appears that we have finally cracked the 'Mystery at the Post Office' and the Rev. Brimstone's travels but, unfortunately, Daft Uisdean is now missing. The portal could have taken him anywhere in the world!<br />
<br />
Interpol have been alerted but meantime, if you have any information as to the where-a-bouts of Daft Uisdean can you please comment in the box below? His mother, Big Maggie Ann, is very upset because his dinner is ready.<br />
<br />Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-51135770611355038932013-07-04T05:40:00.002-07:002013-07-04T05:42:13.554-07:00Mystery at the Post Office<br />
Holy Moly! I've had a call from Christabel-Morag, the new Post
Mistress, down at the Post Office.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"Hello, Torquil," said Christabel-Morag. "Sorry to
bother you on your washing day, but I've just finished reading all the mail and
I've noticed something very odd."<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"Hello there Christabel-Morag. It's okay, I've left mother in
charge of the twin tub. Tell me about the odd thing," I said. Though
I didn't think that Christabel-Morag should be reading all the mail, telling
her so might upset her weak bladder. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"Well, Torquil, you see all these postcards have arrived at the sorting
office and I'm very confused. There's one for you from Jamaica; one for
Woodworm Willie from Rome; one for Cyril Nosecone from Las Vegas; one for Jean
at the Woolshop from Sydney Australia; one for Wullie Spanners from Amsterdam;
one for the lighthouse mannie from Cardiff; one for the boy who plays
music down at the hotel from Peking; one for Murdina the butcher from Brussels;
one for Big Maggie Ann from Anchorage, Alaska; one for Daft Uisdean from
Legoland; and one from Mombasa for Fiona and her paintings."<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
My eye was drawn to the smoke belching from the twin tub. I waved
furiously at mother, pointing at the wall socket for her to pull the
plug. "Oh lovely," I said to Christabel-Morag.
"A nice postcard always brightens up the day."<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"Oh, but you don't understand, Torquil," said
Christabel-Morag, now clearly upset. I heard her fumbling and
then she said, "Can you hold the line while I go to the toilet."<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Mother smiled a gummy smile and waved back at me through the smoke, so
I pulled the plug myself and opened the back door to let out the smoke. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"Sorry for keeping you, Torquil," said Christabel-Morag.
"Where was I? Oh yes, the postcards...all these postcards are signed
by the same person, The Rev. Brimstone. They all say the same
thing. 'Having a lovely time. See you soon, The Rev.
Brimstone.'"<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
I stood in the threshold and fanned my arm in the air to usher the smoke
outside. "That's nice of him to send so many cards, then," I
said to Christabel-Morag.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
"But, Torquil, all these cards were posted the same day, all correctly
postmarked last Monday from their country of origin." She
paused. "Torquil, I attended Evening Worship on Sunday at 7pm
and the Reverend was there in fine voice. So, how could he get to all
these places to send postcards on the Monday?"<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Suddenly, a smoking twin tub was the least of my worries -- there was a
mystery to solve down at the Post Office.<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
Could anyone with any information pertaining to the Rev. Brimstone’s
whereabouts on Monday 24<sup>th</sup> June, 2013, please leave a comment in the
box below?<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
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Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-41522801595374069232013-07-04T04:36:00.001-07:002013-07-04T04:36:59.161-07:00Identity CrisisFunny... I dreamed last night that my name was Hazy Dizzylady and I was a woman. You'll be pleased to know that I've just checked the label on my underpants and it clearly says, "Hand Knitted by Jean at the Woolshop for Torquil Mor." Phew! Thank Heavens a man can always rely on his underpants to remind him who he is.<br />
<br />Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-28145503923772812672013-02-08T16:12:00.000-08:002013-02-08T16:15:59.976-08:00Malcolm's Spray-On Tan<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnYZLdOc9KqJ6MsEmlc0lOXMve4q_xnOOFb7ULPQWN6JY9_ES9nJcpk5iWNaJ20EZggfumMnvqfkIcuLlN6dyWpgyV8rJInci1lHjDeASFj00hAMi9M0nOzIshZPRL0xX3pBEKng/s1600/Orange+Malcolm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnYZLdOc9KqJ6MsEmlc0lOXMve4q_xnOOFb7ULPQWN6JY9_ES9nJcpk5iWNaJ20EZggfumMnvqfkIcuLlN6dyWpgyV8rJInci1lHjDeASFj00hAMi9M0nOzIshZPRL0xX3pBEKng/s320/Orange+Malcolm.jpg" width="212" /></a><br />
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Malcolm stood up on the podium to declare, "My tan is NOT orange!" <br />
<br />
But, no one took any notice.<br />
<br />Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-37630750850827365892012-04-16T12:52:00.001-07:002012-04-16T12:54:36.911-07:00Business Expansion Plans for the Spanners FamilyA fresh rumour just in from The Ladies’ at the Church Guild suggests that the eldest two Spanners sisters, Mini and Shelly, have purchased the vacant property next to Murdina’s Butcher’s shop.<br /> <br />Further tittle-tattle guarantees that their old man, Wullie Spanners, was seen erecting a sign above the front door, saying “Fix ‘Em or Stuff ‘Em Animal Clinic”. <br /><br />As I’m sure all islanders know, Shelly Spanners is a vet and Mini Spanners is a taxidermist.<br /><br />Their new neighbour, Murdina at the butcher’s shop, said, “I’d like to wish the girls all the best in their new animal clinic. If I can be of any assistance to their business, please tell them to bang on the wall and I’ll give them a good price per pound on left overs.”Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-75245203609041758562012-04-15T14:25:00.002-07:002012-04-15T14:26:35.057-07:00Lighthouse Vanishes AgainIf anyone has any information about the recent disappearance of the lighthouse, again, please contact PC Hugh Dunnett.Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-86379521283222940622012-04-09T03:27:00.004-07:002012-04-09T03:52:01.636-07:00Extracts from Monday's Highland Island NewsSponge Bath Square Bob has opened a new sauna at the rear of Wullie Spanners' garage. Early reports are positive, saying that many islanders are lying steaming outside the garage.<br /><br />Ruby Hazelnut's Dancing by Numbers On Ice Team urgently require a stand-in for Annie and her trombone. Murdina regrets that following last night's dress rehearsal of Dancing by Numbers on Ice, she left Annie and her trombone inside the large chest freezer. "I've got both bars working on the electric heater, but I don't think Annie or her trombone will be thawed out in time for tonight's gala performance," said Murdina. Ruby Hazelnut urges the public for help to replace Annie on the Numbers' Team. "We desperately need a No.2." Please call Ruby if you can help.<br /><br />Mysteriously, none of the youngsters on the island received any chocolate this Easter. Fiona and her paintings say this sounds quite sketchy so she's trying to draw up a reason for this oversight.<br /><br />Lastly, the final few slices of Murdina's Easter Bunny pie are now on offer at half price.Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-40826985407271074512012-04-06T07:59:00.009-07:002012-04-06T10:39:06.775-07:00Chinese WhispersI have been asked to read a statement to clear up a small misunderstand, on behalf of Fi Ling Lo, down at the Lim Ping Dragon Chinese Take-Away Van, parked at the ferry terminal.<br /><br />(You see, Big Maggie Ann has spent hour upon hour snorkelling at the pier, in search of her son, Daft Uisdean.<br /> <br />Apparently, Maggie said that Hamish-the-Bearded-Clam-Diver told her, ‘A smirch of an indiscretion occurred when Uisdean was breast-stroke swimming up the West Coast and his head, his knees and his foot were stuck in the hole of a lobster pot’.<br /> <br />But, Hamish-the-Bearded-Clam-Diver denied it. “Naw, Big Maggie misheard me. I told her Wullie Spanners said that ‘Daft Uisdean’s lurcher peed on his coat and his vest below, which are now wringing, because his foot was stuck in the fly recession of his boxer shorts.’"<br /> <br />According to Wullie Spanners, though, that's not what he said, either. Rev. Brimstone phoned him to say that Uisdean wouldn’t be into work. "The Rev. said, 'Lo and behold, Uisdean’s left you in the lurch. He’s snuck off on foot on the fly, up the ebb of the west coast to clear his head and breathe in a decompression box ’." said Wullie Spanners<br /><br />But, then Rev. Brimstone denied saying anything about breathing in a decompression box. “The Ladies of the Church Guild Knitting Circle reported to me, ‘Daft Uisdean is lying with both feet stuck, clinging low in a web, after free-flying like a ghost above the church confession box’." said Rev. Brimstone.<br /><br />“No No, you have it wrong, minister.” said Annie, on behalf of the ladies. “When Murdina at the butcher’s told me about Uisdean, I said, ‘In the name of the church and the Holy Ghost! Did you say ‘Uisdean’s webbed feet were being fried with egg by Fi Ling Lo, as he’s running out of Peking Duck?’"<br /><br />And, Murdina said, “Yes.”)<br /><br />Here is the notice on behalf of Fi Ling Lo, down at the Lim Ping Dragon Chinese Take-Away.<br /><br />“I definitely not fly web feet in Peking Duck.”Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-46940776658588826022012-04-03T13:56:00.002-07:002012-04-05T02:06:29.793-07:00Local Job Centre - Positions VacantVacant Position - Shepherd Spy<br /><br />Torquil is looking for a Shepherd Spy.<br /> <br />Candidates who are interested in being a Shepherd Spy should arrive at the croft, no later than an hour and a half before Sunday lunch, complete with a 3lb bag of Golden Wonders, 1lb of lean steak mince, one onion, a stock cube and a pair of binoculars.<br /><br />Seasoning will be provided.Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-20190093624543564222012-02-09T09:08:00.000-08:002012-02-09T09:41:05.557-08:00Valentine’s Day Gift IdeasSeamus Snotterach , dietician and author of “The Stravagan Diet”, has popped in for a wee cuppa tea and to offer some suggestions for Valentine’s Day gifts.<br /><br />“Hello there Seamus Snotterach, and how’s yersell today?”<br /><br /><em>“Aye, I’m grand, thanks, Torquil, I mean Hazy. I’ve got one or two ideas for the discerning gentleman to give to his lady friend this Valentine’s Day. Would you like me to read through the list?”</em><br /><br />“Fire away there, Seamus, but before you begin, I can’t help noticing that yer getting awful thin, yerself. Are you getting enough protein, since you’ve started this new 'Stravagan Diet' fad?”<br /><br /><em>“Och aye, dinnae forget that I’m a Snotterach and although we pick away at our greens, there’s plenty protein to be found if you dig deep enough.”</em><br /><br />“Very good Seamus Snotterach. Thanks for the demonstration. I’ll get a box of tissues for your finger. Meanwhile, you can read your list.”<br /><br /><em>“Right then. Here’s No.3 on my list – Is your woman a sight for sore eyes? If so then why not buy yourself a wee remedy from www.conjunctivitis.com They have everything from EXTRA DARK GLASSES (so you can be as shifty as you like) to DROPS (either local and not too high, or deep canyons where she’ll never be found).”</em><br /><br />“But, do you think these are appropriate gifts for Valentine’s Day, Seamus?”<br /><br /><em>“Oh definitely, Torquil, I mean Hazy. Now at No.2 on my list – How deep is your love? Why not reserve her plot now at the new Snotterach Bros. Cemetery. We have been working in conjunction with local undertaker, Woodworm Willie, to provide a special range of pink Valentine’s Day head stones. Let her chose her own wording so that you can demonstrate your love by letting her have that all-important final say.”</em><br /><br />“But, Seamus don’t you have any things like fine wine, chocolates or flowers on your list?”<br /><br /><em>“Patience, Torquil, I mean Hazy. I’m just getting to the special beverages. At No. 1 on my list – Does she only have eyes for you? Do those eyes bulge or protrude in a staring manner? She might have a condition called Proptosis. If she’s obese, forgetful, and her hair is falling out, too, the most likely reason is an overactive thyroid gland. Unfortunately, in this instance, www.conjunctivitis.com won’t be suitable for gift buying. So, why not visit Clapdarnach Wineries and buy her a bottle of their finest Valentine’s Day pig’s urine, or Cupid’s pregnant-mare’s urine? They are specially made for the fat lady in your life, with a thyroid condition. Please note that this remedy is NOT suitable for vagans, and so I will be selling signed copies of my book “The Stravagan Diet” for a special Valentine’s Day price of £15.99. Cheques can be made payable to Snotterach Bros.”</em><br /><br />“Right then, Seamus Snotterach. Thanks for that. Are you sure I can’t interest you in a clean tissue for your finger?”<br /><br /><em>“No, thanks, Torquil, I mean Hazy. I’ll have to be going now to catch my bus.”</em>Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-32892854550028512072012-01-18T11:28:00.000-08:002012-01-18T11:36:35.302-08:00Island Ferry Springs a Leek<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_EnP_8odZWZnDumm3FFpdnkqTg_jwLmL3SwPTDGko0o9EDF655SXAiYtMUrw_6EZ2rzWQwXe7M97d1ssEQq_0idBZAlhATExDiW3g1gGbX0BBALgB4zPlRG6DS6DtYEoGA3cuJA/s1600/nigg1+002.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_EnP_8odZWZnDumm3FFpdnkqTg_jwLmL3SwPTDGko0o9EDF655SXAiYtMUrw_6EZ2rzWQwXe7M97d1ssEQq_0idBZAlhATExDiW3g1gGbX0BBALgB4zPlRG6DS6DtYEoGA3cuJA/s320/nigg1+002.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5699056906446895666" /></a><br /><br />Would the island ferry please return to the terminal, to undergo Health and Safety checks. <br /><br />It appears that your vessel is springing leeks, which can be collected from the lost property box at the local Police Station.<br /><br />PC Hugh Dunnett has made the following statement. "Please note that the 'cell by' date on the leek is about to expire."Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-90112036470831253862011-11-20T11:38:00.000-08:002011-11-20T11:54:56.446-08:00NEWSFLASH - Is Woodworm Willie Lost At Sea?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkY_UFmUez9Xtp3DFJjUi109BlwyUMkdt9dYQu2TKTsVbdYqp5wAZD0enSynfJD0NmckYR5p0yMbVcmTcS0VXVR78zwS5vAVIX29LparUU9cQtGPw3aIpUINvCZmJjpVLn5RfMLQ/s1600/DSCN0621_edited-1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkY_UFmUez9Xtp3DFJjUi109BlwyUMkdt9dYQu2TKTsVbdYqp5wAZD0enSynfJD0NmckYR5p0yMbVcmTcS0VXVR78zwS5vAVIX29LparUU9cQtGPw3aIpUINvCZmJjpVLn5RfMLQ/s320/DSCN0621_edited-1.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677165065306120450" /></a><br /><br /><br />Help?<br /><br />Is One-legged Woodworm Willie lost at sea? Do we still have a Coastguard Mannie in the house? Or,is Hamish the Bearded Clam Diver at the ready? Does Daft Uisdean have his swimming trunks on, or is he currently bearing his arse to the tourists down at the ferry terminal?<br /><br />Reply in comments section below -----> Hurry now!<br /><br /><br />Meanwhile, as you wait for the island's emergency services 999 to wind up their state-of-the-art response telephone... why not read some of Hazy Dizzylady's poems at<br /><br /> <br />http://www.halfbard.blogspot.com <br /><br /> <br />Her latest entries are guaranteed to be inspirationally depressing. Just what we all need while we wait to hear about a possible drowning at sea.Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-284937623095653552011-11-12T14:31:00.000-08:002011-11-12T14:59:16.527-08:00The Stage is Set for the 2011 God-o-vision Song ContestThe response to our God-o-vision song contest has been massive - we now have an entry from all of the polish ladies!<br /><br />To bring you up to date with the organisation of the event, here is a picture of the newly constructed stage (Built by Messrs Spanners & Nosecone, Inc.) <br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-FNk9vWv4VyxyYswUA6uiEyxVXRszbHngRJ_5mCi_w_bf8fdOzRrAAFz3DESuLdvjDlZnm6IyiBBjFy7ggYh7juebY3xtFjKJ-CKAK6AN4DiugyMoM3YsS1jCVDvZh4IOr99HpA/s1600/DSCN0456.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-FNk9vWv4VyxyYswUA6uiEyxVXRszbHngRJ_5mCi_w_bf8fdOzRrAAFz3DESuLdvjDlZnm6IyiBBjFy7ggYh7juebY3xtFjKJ-CKAK6AN4DiugyMoM3YsS1jCVDvZh4IOr99HpA/s320/DSCN0456.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5674243871821202354" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />The God-o-Vision song contest has spared no expense when it comes to Health & Safety. Our Road Traffic Coordinator, Farquar Bogg, has provided state of the art parking facilities for the event.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIYb9hfD0SG041rvXW9qwk3taq2vkvzOE0ogB5Y1hipDxfzXwDse6HWtkQnXzN65gIqFA6UlD0cIXfHHuckB4JFdH-0rH4vUqFFuCFkS4Fv8LSVDs0iJ1eBaQSaN_3arB_HbxyqQ/s1600/DSCN0457.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIYb9hfD0SG041rvXW9qwk3taq2vkvzOE0ogB5Y1hipDxfzXwDse6HWtkQnXzN65gIqFA6UlD0cIXfHHuckB4JFdH-0rH4vUqFFuCFkS4Fv8LSVDs0iJ1eBaQSaN_3arB_HbxyqQ/s320/DSCN0457.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5674245109006501346" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Deadline for lyric entries is approaching fast! Submit your entry now for the chance of being recorded on record, and sworn to oath by P.C. Hugh Dunnett, whilst on backing vocals -- Magnus the Bobby from the Mainland pumps up the back tyre of his bicycle.<br /><br />Get writing and submit your lyric anywhere in the comments box. Daft Uisdean has been trained in sniffer dog techniques in order to find it!Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-29679184554058809172011-11-01T12:02:00.000-07:002011-11-12T15:01:15.520-08:00God-o-Vision 2011 will be judged by...You are cordially invited to submit your lyric entries for <strong>The 2011 God-o-Vision Song Contest</strong>, the inter-faith competition, hosted by Rev. Helman Brimstone. <br /><br />The ladies of the church guild knitting/gossip group are currently accepting lyric entries in the following ten categories –<br /><br />Australian Aboriginal Wool Mythology<br />Bahá'í Sheep Faith<br />Buddhist Ewes<br />Confucianism for Confused Sheep<br />Gnostic Rams<br />Henduism for Dyslexic Party Ewes <br />Islamb <br />Judaism, according to Judy the Cheviot<br />Neopagan Black Faced Followers <br />The Bodhrán–a-ram-a-ding–dong Movement<br /><br />Closing date for entries is November 30th and the winning entry will be sung by Jean, accompanied by The Glenpuddle and Munro First Crofters’ Brass Ensemble, est 1862, at…<br /><br />...wait for it… <br /><br />...<strong>The Highland Island Blog’s 6th Anniversary Year Party Bash</strong>, to be held at a special outdoor location on December 1st.<br /><br />Get writing now and post your entries in the comment box below, stating your name and chosen category. <br /><br />All judging will be done by God. His decision is final, or else!<br /><br />(Hanging Gallows will be provided courtesy of Spanners Garage Ltd.)Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-24448768921082348472011-10-31T11:53:00.000-07:002011-10-31T12:01:33.537-07:00Special Training Day with Diarrhena MacMorbidIn the interest of assisting Highland Islanders to manage their daily lives, navigate relationships, and solve personal problems, a representative from the Highland Island Social Work’s Stalking Department will be available to tutor you on the advantages of Sheep Stalking Hats.<br /><br />Similar to the Deer Stalking Hat (pictured here)…<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHJxDTZhrZpSX9sHK7yrpcfx6SMs3fxyzR_Pzv9Qa1in6ag_TSMA0BL11hzitlJqUIjfl-LqNSDiSLXtyYQp5LqdCiXpN5sGWrjiPHoO-pKRQ-cAXyIrD2xH2aPxQcrk6h53V1sg/s1600/deer+stalking+hat.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 225px; height: 225px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHJxDTZhrZpSX9sHK7yrpcfx6SMs3fxyzR_Pzv9Qa1in6ag_TSMA0BL11hzitlJqUIjfl-LqNSDiSLXtyYQp5LqdCiXpN5sGWrjiPHoO-pKRQ-cAXyIrD2xH2aPxQcrk6h53V1sg/s320/deer+stalking+hat.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669731734035683186" /></a><br />… the Sheep Stalking Hat (pictured here)…<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB7xKnEt2yeJj6xlRHA10UtEDnzmCKH-JldKZ21v5YuodW93MAWYIGmHBJoqUkhk_JlU0nBo6xE8AwSLG2FF8QVFAeWpcIyjM4x7ON0wVRpc6QlMJBmskXb3912N9UxPiFfv7exw/s1600/sheep+stalking+hat.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 220px; height: 220px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB7xKnEt2yeJj6xlRHA10UtEDnzmCKH-JldKZ21v5YuodW93MAWYIGmHBJoqUkhk_JlU0nBo6xE8AwSLG2FF8QVFAeWpcIyjM4x7ON0wVRpc6QlMJBmskXb3912N9UxPiFfv7exw/s320/sheep+stalking+hat.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669732066998639682" /></a><br />fits on your head, but also allows complete ambiguity.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Do you know someone in crisis? Need to keep tabs on 'that special someone that got away’? Why not let the Department’s expert stalker Diarrhena MacMorbid instruct you on the benefits of stalking them, while protecting your anonymity by dressing as a sheep.<br /><br />Need to stalk the postman by day or a polish lady by night? No problem. Let Diarrhena MacMorbid provide the perfect mystery and vagueness that only training in sheep stalking hats can bring.<br /><br />Remember – the Highland Island Social Work Department is here to help you through your relationship crisis, in the most professional manner possible.<br /><br />Next week, Diarrhena MacMorbid will guide you through the A-Z of anonymous phone calls, while wearing the Sheep Stalking Hat.Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-62698377201503148072011-10-31T07:19:00.000-07:002011-11-01T12:29:59.775-07:00Long Range Weather Forecast<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaeMru5Pp9G0q_q-_3rgGk3__tJkAaTCpSaaeF1ncDO1VurezKiBSqFLp3W77lLMeKaS-T0ob27dyPl8vSn-fsqgFYEZtRNPeFFVgg_OQOlC4dk27wzBFd4v98OmRZsF-WuoJsQ/s1600/DSCN0599.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYaeMru5Pp9G0q_q-_3rgGk3__tJkAaTCpSaaeF1ncDO1VurezKiBSqFLp3W77lLMeKaS-T0ob27dyPl8vSn-fsqgFYEZtRNPeFFVgg_OQOlC4dk27wzBFd4v98OmRZsF-WuoJsQ/s320/DSCN0599.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5669661230013302978" /></a><br /><br /><br />All indications point to a harsh winter ahead, as mainland sheep gather by local clothing points, waiting for handouts of extra woollens.<br /><br />Stay tuned for more weather updates.Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19488133.post-34314168513083601772011-10-18T11:29:00.000-07:002011-10-18T12:03:41.073-07:00House and Business For Rent<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB_YZFH3A0JMAX1UJgO5Ux8qdzFUYXvVtCGl3xfj3LKKndRfzJDE-AmHKR_YTgK5xddqhyphenhyphen-J-p8ejvmVDSClK754GnzyuQt-_tW2zFOr3MZ7wfPL3gl-DCRFtb_FSqnt3zZj6eqw/s1600/DSCN0450.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhB_YZFH3A0JMAX1UJgO5Ux8qdzFUYXvVtCGl3xfj3LKKndRfzJDE-AmHKR_YTgK5xddqhyphenhyphen-J-p8ejvmVDSClK754GnzyuQt-_tW2zFOr3MZ7wfPL3gl-DCRFtb_FSqnt3zZj6eqw/s320/DSCN0450.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5664909278360074642" /></a><br /><br />House and clapdarnach production business for rent on The Highland Island. Length of lease will be 12 months. <br /><br />This raised, open-plan accomodation, with spacious porch, is finished to a high standard and packed with unique character. Available now for immediate entry.<br /><br />Owner is living undercover in mainland Shieldaig, working as a polish lady in the hotel. Therefore, when enquiring, in order to prevent suspicion, please ask for Hazy Dizzylady, not Torquil.Torquil Morhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09857897496710046973noreply@blogger.com3