"Hooters" - Frae Big Angus up the Brae

Big Angus frae up the Brae, sent us this photo called "Hooters" of some owl clapdarnachs.

He is very excited about our clapdarnach photo competition. Rubbing his hands together and licking his lips, Big Angus said that he is fond watching this particular pair of hooters outside of his window.

Good luck with your "Hooters", Big Angus.

Daft Uisdean enters the competition

Daft Uisdean entered our "Prettiest Clapdarnach Competition" with this image. He calls the photo "Skinny Malinky - Part One".

"Skinny Malinky - Part Two" is still stuck to the sole of his shoe.

Good luck with the competition, Daft Uisdean! Meanwhile, try using the power hose down at Spanners' garage for your shoe.

'After the Rain' by Farquar Bogg

Farquar Bogg, of the Department of Santitiation, Agriculture and Rumba Dancing has given me this photo to put forward to our 'Prettiest Clapdarnach Photo Competition'.

His portrait is called, "After the Rain".

Good luck Farquar Bogg!

Clapdarnach Photo by Big Maggie Ann (and her tooth)

Big Maggie Ann (and her tooth) have sent this photo to be entred into the competition. The photo is called "Juicy Fruit" and Maggie assures us it was still steaming when snapped.

"Note its glint, as the sunlight catches the top of it," she says.

Good luck Big Maggie Ann!

Artistic competition entry from Fiona and her paintings

Fiona and her paintings have sent me this fabulous entry to "The Prettiest Clapdarnach" photo competition, entitled "Homage to Gilbert and George."

As you can see, "Homage to Gilbert and George" is set amidst some early spring crocus flowers, a perfect setting for this gem.

Good luck Fiona and her paintings!

Wullie Spanners' captures a wonderful trio of clapdarnachs

Wullie Spanners' photo is entitled "Happy Trails".

"I like the evenly spaced arrangement here," said Jean.

Good luck Wullie! Here's hoping this shot wins you many happy trails, too.

Competition entry from Old Bagpuss

Old Bagpuss has submitted this artistic shot entitled "Silent Footstep". He says, "The "Silent Footstep" illustrates the obvious advantage of cats over dogs."

Good luck Old Bagpuss!

Some entries from Cyril Nosecone and Deirdre from Arbroath

Cyril and Deirdre submitted this fabulous 'untitled' clapdarnach photo to our competition. For the purpose of easy identification, Jean has given it the temporary title of "Short but Sweet".

Their second entry, which Jean has temporarily named "Light Southerly Breeze", is also a spledid shot.

Good luck, Cyril and Deirdre!

“The Prettiest Clapdarnach - Photo Contest”

We’re all a bitty depressed here on the island - not a single Happy New Year hangover left on the whole of the island.

Since Jean dismantled the woolshop and hauled it across to the mainland on the ferry, hand knitted underpants have been selling on eBay and the black market down by Spanners’ garage at grossly inflated prices that only the tourists can afford, as hand-knitted-underpant-enthusiasts fear a shortage of their favorite commodity. The mobile woolshop, run by Daft Uisdean, doesn’t sell a single ball of wool, just hundreds of tins of Swarfega.

Murdina’s sausage machine jammed when a goat skin entwined around a can of Carlsberg Special Brew causing a clog at the mincer head (Farquar Bogg from The Department of Agriculture, Sanitation and Rumba Dancing is coming over in whilie with the industrial hoover, though.)

The clutch is slipping on the new clapdarnach harvester that I hired from that Wullie Spanners, so production of clapdarnach incense cones have temporarily ground to a halt.

Lastly, Crawford Minty and Big Maggie Ann have moved into the big hoose and we’re no sure what is more frightening – the smile on Big Maggie Ann’s face, now that she’s edged her way into the big hoose, or the poltergeist up in the attic. All will be revealed soon.

So, aye, we’re all a bitty down in the dumps.

But, Wullie Spanners has promised to fix the clapdarnach harvester, which gave me an idea…

“The Prettiest Clapdarnach - Photo Contest”

I will be holding a competition to find the bonniest photo of a clapdarnach. Anyone wishing to participate should send me a photo of, or a link to a photo of, their potential prize-winning clapdarnach. (highlandisland@verizon.net )

The most imaginative clapdarnach photo will win some lucky person a day trip for two in Wullie Spanners’ new clapdarnach harvester (complete with new clutch).