Breaking news - Announcing the Christmas open air gig at Esther MacTavish's cattle sheds.

A preliminary date of Friday December 23rd, has been arranged for this function. As usual it will be a B.Y.O.B.A.S.E.W - Bring Your Own Booze and Someone Else's Wife. (Single folk can improvise, but no rams, please, just ewes.)

At this very moment my good friend Cyril Nosecone is trying to organise some major artists for the gig. We are trying to book Hazel O'Connor to sing her super hit song "Wool You - just politely say goodnight?" Of course, Cyril and the Nosecones will be performing again, starring Annie who I'm told is a former member of The Glenpuddle and Munroe First Crofters Memorial Brass Ensemble, Est 1862. Other artists include a dancing display by Farquar Bogg of the Agriculture, Rumba-dancing and Sanitation Department, starring Daft Uisdean doing the Y Dance; the Asiatic Eskimos of Reykjavik Disco Dancers will do their award-winning rendition of Y.M.C.A. led by myself; and Magnus and Hugh of the Island Constabulary will be the judges for the open dancing competition.

More details to follow, when Cyril has something to report. Watch the "comments" section below and feel free to make suggestions yourself.