Around 2.34 pm yesterday, the Rev. Hellman Brimstone and 17-year-old, leggy, blonde Kylie Madonna Britney Dolly MacTavish embarked on a totally innocent and absolutely platonic stroll through the woods. During their guiltless ramble, which was absolutely just for the sole purpose of a chaste and harmless walk, the two cavorters discovered Daft Uisdean’s wheelbarrow, Dougal.
As most of you will know, Dougal and Daft Uisdean are inseparable so we are all very concerned, especially since Dougal was abandoned in an upturned position. Police Constable Hugh Dunnett said, “Clearly there are signs of a struggle, and we have reason to believe there is foul play.” When asked about the foul play, he would only say that the area smelled as if two large hippopotami had been rolling in some Kimchi. Local residents are being asked to be on the look out for fermenting pickled cabbages or wallowing sounds coming from nearby bogs.
Meanwhile we are all keeping a vigil by Dougal’s side in the hope of Daft Uisdean’s safe return.
Anyone with information should click on the word "Comments" below, or click the envelope if you want to inform friends and family of Daft Uisdean's dissapearance.
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