Meeting of H.E.C.K.L.E.

Draft Minutes
Highland Entertainment Council of Knock-kneed Lurcher Enthusiasts
February 05, 2006, Extraordinary Meeting

Members Present –

Ruby Hazelnut
Torquil Mor
Woodworm Willie
Farquar Bogg of the Agriculture, Rumba-dancing and Sanitation Department
Jóhann Þór Jóhannsson of the Asiatic Eskimos of Reykjavik Disco Dancers
Mrs. Hellman Brimstone, the Rev.’s wife
Wee Janet from Glenpuddle and Munroe First Crofters Memorial Brass Ensemble. Est 1862. (standing in for Annie, who has rickets).
Jean at the Woolshop
PC Hugh Dunnet
Kylie Madonna Britney Dolly MacTavish
Dougal
Maggie Ann MacPhee

Apologies –

Cyril Nosecone

Call to order -

Ruby Hazelnut shouted out the first round of drinks at 7.01 pm.

Salute -

Board member Woodworm Willie led with the first Slainte mhoiz, closely followed by “Skál” from Jóhann Þór Jóhannsson, while Wee Janet played Ten Green Bottles on her tuba.

Announcements –

Maggie Ann MacPhee made many announcements during the course of the meeting and the committee decided to increase her medication for Tourette syndrome.


Chairman’s Report –

Farquar Bogg reported that the main purpose of the meeting was to discuss Cyril Nosecone’s proposal to hold a Jail breaker’s Ball, or similar ball, to celebrate Willie’s early release from Porterfield Prison, so there would be no chairman’s report.

Business –

Woodworm Willie said that he and Torquil had been thinking about Cyril’s balls in some depth. They were seriously considering holding one. Maggie Ann’s response was censored. Ruby Hazelnut suggested that, instead of a ball, the committee could embark on a theatrical stage production of the Jail-breaker’s Ball. She offered to provide choreography in ‘dancing by numbers’ format, saying, “Even Daft Uisdean, when we find him, will be able to join in.” Maggie Ann shouted objections, and a double Gordon’s Gin was added to her medication. PC Dunnett offered some items from the police station for use as stage props. Woodworm Willie offered a bottle of embalming fluid and 15% off all 2005 coffin models. Jean offered twenty balls of Sirdar double knitting in forest green to be knitted up into stage underpants. Jóhann Þór Jóhannsson said, “Eg mundi vilja kaupa bjor.” Nobody understood. Kylie Madonna Britney Dolly MacTavish offered to play the Virgin Mary in a manger scene, asking if it would be possible to deliver her baby live during the production. Mrs. Brimstone congratulated Kylie on her pregnancy and asked her who the proud father was. Loud coughing followed, interrupted by Maggie Ann who was silenced just in the nick of time by an intravenous injection of cooking whisky.

Torquil asked what part the knock-kneed lurchers could play. Ruby Hazelnut offered to choreograph Rover and Flossie, saying that their knees were the straightest, but she would seek advice from Nellie and her performing Jack Russell terriers. The committee decided to ask Cyril Nosecone for further suggestions on the production.

Actions –

Maggie Ann will keep taking her medicine.
Jean was to order more cheese and onion crisps and restock the back shelf with bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale.
Jóhann Þór Jóhannsson will bring an Icelandic - English dictionary to the next meeting.

Next meeting - Sunday 12th February.