Daft Uisdean has discovered gold!
The worth of Daft Uisdean's shed has elevated far beyond normal normal property values, as it now sits directly beneath the end of the rainbow. Uisdean can be seen daily, lugging out enormous golden pots from the inside of the premises.
A recent sale agreement, where Daft Uisdean was preparing to hand over the property to Cyril Nosecone, has now been cancelled and the boy is delighted. Rubbing his hands together in Swarfega, Daft Uisdean said, "It's mine again. The shed is all mine."
A spokesperson on behalf of Sydney Devine reports that Sydney is now offering his services to be abducted in the shed again, but Daft Usidean has thumbed his nose to the proposal, "I'm not interested in Sydney any more. The boy that plays down at the hotel said I could sing duets with him, if I fixed the roof in the old ferry terminal building and made us a recording studio."
Photograph compliments of Fiona and her paintings.
8 comments:
Torquil - I have threefive questions for you. Five: Why have you asked the boy that plays down the pub to play at the Ballroom and not me and The Nosecones. Four: Where am I supposed to stay tonight, at the moment I'm on my reclining pilot seat at the end of the newly refurbished runway or slipway or whatever it is. Three: Who shot JR. Two: Did Dierdre get her prize. One: Any births deaths or marriages. Very disappointed because I was going to play my new single tonoght called : "The difference between you and me is that I know and you don't know" - what de ya think.
Hello there Cyril my good friend, dinnae be fretting about bookings at the Dangly Crystal Balls Dance Hall. The boy that plays down the hotel has a new song out this week, too, called "Careful Now! Don't stand on that clapdarnach." Jean sings it all day long as she's knitting, down at the woolshop. So, we were eager to hear him play. We'll book the Nosecones for the Easter Dance will we? Do you have any good Easter songs?
Dinnae worry about where to stay tonight. Mother says you can go upsy-downsy in the bed with her. It won't be bath day for another three days but she says she'll keep her bed socks on, just in case.
Are you talking about JR MacEwan? He shot himself, I think. At least he thinks that is why there's a hole in his boot.
Deirdre didnae get her prize yet because we only had one and Daft Uisdean drew the short straw on her behalf, so Fiona and her paintings won the tandem. Wullie Spanners offered to cut it in half but we couldn't work out how to stear the rear wheel.
We've no marriages. The Polish bridesmaids are on the dole. No births, since we found out what was causing it. Ah! Now deaths .. well I'll be getting back to you on that one, once we find out if Murdina has sold any of her black puddings. Woodworm Willie has got himself a pager and he's on standby. He's hopeful, though, because the flu season was a bit of a let down this year. He hasnae reached his winter sales target yet, poor Woodworm.
Poor old Deirdre Torquil, we are not surprised that she has come over all unnecessary! Her entry to the competition was also quite magnificent. We were delighted to receive said tandem, it has made our lives so much easier however Uisdean did have his hands covered in Swarfega when he drew the short straw on her behalf, we suspect! So that may have influenced the outcome. We are thrilled to see that Uisdean has finally got one over on our mechanic friend and procured large quantities of his hand cleanser in golden pots. Getting to the point, we would be perfectly happy to share the tandem with Deirdre as we were first equal, we go to most of the same functions anyway!
We have had the privilage of listening to the boy that plays down the hotel sing out "Careful Now! Don't Stand On That Clapdarnach" a joy! A mere suggestion...duet Uisdean/The Boy...everyone happy...old ferry terminal sorted!
Here Torquil....ye'there lad...I've just seen something I couldnae believe so I have....A scene which would bring a tear to a glass eye so it would....Yon artist lassie and Deirdre fae Arbroath goin' doon the brae past ma garage on a tandem!!! T'was like a double eclipse o' the moon, so it was!!! What joy you've brought us all wi' thone daft competition.
Hello there Fiona Kearney and her friends and Wullie Spanners (also including Deirdre from Arbroath),
We're so pleased that the artist lady, her paintings, and Deirdre are harmonising on the tandem.
Unfortunately, rules being rules state that joint first place prize winners must be the recipients of exact equal prizes. It has been deemed unsatisfactory that one person should steer while the other simple stares at the nape of a neck. Due to restrictions and budget cutbacks, however, we have had to compromise and cannot issue two identical tandems. Therefore, Wullie Spanners has been commissioned to attach handle bars on to each end of the original ‘prize winning’ tandem. The new and improved tandem model will be based on the infamous “Push Me Pull You” effect and should be available for pick up at Spanners’ garage at your earliest convenience, Fiona and Deirdre.
Oh dear! Pick up from Mr Spanners garage you say!!! We do hope Deirdre is available, we have suddenly remembered lots of prearranged engagements and will be busy for ages and ages! Tell Deirdre the bikes hers if she collects it. I'm happy enough with the Morris Minor. It might also be worth advising Deirdre to, according to the knitting circle, move fast and keep her wits about her!
Last time I saw Mr S. he had polystyrene all over his hands (don't ask) and asked me if I had nylon knickers!!! I had to resort to my broomstick you know...my paintings were not amused!!!
We're all aireated we are, a lie down we think.
No No dont be listenin' tae that gossipy knitting lot....Slow down...Whats the hurry?...Perfect gentleman me....I hear the artists all aireated....must nip over and check up on her....
Hello there my good friends, Fiona Keareny and her paintings,
We need to keep an eye on that garage owner. I'm wondering if Spanners is doing a fly sideline in fossil fuels, out behind the garage. You see I heard that with the bonnie weather, Agnes Joy from the laundry donned her startched summer whites today, but by the time I saw her she had huge black hand prints all over her chest. I asked her what had happened but she said, "Och, tonight is 'Sports night with Coalman.'" If you find Spanners' secret sacks, stick your hand in to see if it gets dirty.
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