Rumors were circulating around the island about a mysterious meeting last week of The Prettiest Clapdarnach Competition judges. The judges were seen, secretly gathering behind the old sheddie, down at the ferry terminal.
Fred Twitter, of the local ornithology group, was observing Canadian geese from the local bird hide when he captured this shot through his telephoto lens, showing one of the judges hiding behind the sheddie.
News is now breaking that the judges of The Prettiest Clapdarnach Photo Competition have reconsidered their original decision about the competition winner.
The winning entry had previously been announced as Fiona and her paintings, with their fabulous shot entitled “Homage to Gilbert and George,” but upon receiving new evidence, a first equal prize will now be awarded to Deirdre for her photograph “Short but Sweet”.
Big Maggie Ann, a spokesperson from the local gossip circle said, "Shhhh, didnae say I told you this, but Deirdre was blackmailing the committee of judges. Aye, she was, but didnae say you heard it from me. Okay?"
Meanwhile, due to the publication of Fred Twitter's photograph of the sheddie, local garage owner, Wullie Spanners, is being questioned by local building code inspectors. Spanners, who had recently been awarded a three figure sum for the contract of pannel beating and refurbishing the sheddie, had been paid in full by MacBrains Ferries for completion of his work. The quality of his pannel beating is now in question.
Our representative from the local gossip circle, Big Maggie Ann, said, "Dinnae trust thon Spanners bloke. He disnae do the work. He pockets the money and sends Daft Uisdean oot wi a hammer and six nails. Look! Oor Sheddie's falling doon! But, Shhh, dinnae say it wus me who said it."
Fred Twitter, of the local ornithology group, was observing Canadian geese from the local bird hide when he captured this shot through his telephoto lens, showing one of the judges hiding behind the sheddie.
News is now breaking that the judges of The Prettiest Clapdarnach Photo Competition have reconsidered their original decision about the competition winner.
The winning entry had previously been announced as Fiona and her paintings, with their fabulous shot entitled “Homage to Gilbert and George,” but upon receiving new evidence, a first equal prize will now be awarded to Deirdre for her photograph “Short but Sweet”.
Big Maggie Ann, a spokesperson from the local gossip circle said, "Shhhh, didnae say I told you this, but Deirdre was blackmailing the committee of judges. Aye, she was, but didnae say you heard it from me. Okay?"
Meanwhile, due to the publication of Fred Twitter's photograph of the sheddie, local garage owner, Wullie Spanners, is being questioned by local building code inspectors. Spanners, who had recently been awarded a three figure sum for the contract of pannel beating and refurbishing the sheddie, had been paid in full by MacBrains Ferries for completion of his work. The quality of his pannel beating is now in question.
Our representative from the local gossip circle, Big Maggie Ann, said, "Dinnae trust thon Spanners bloke. He disnae do the work. He pockets the money and sends Daft Uisdean oot wi a hammer and six nails. Look! Oor Sheddie's falling doon! But, Shhh, dinnae say it wus me who said it."
9 comments:
Judges meeting indeed! Piffle!
That Fred Twitter so called ornothologist chap has been sneaking round the island for weeks, taking pics, yes, but the only birds he's interested in are my Maggie Ann & the lassie who drives the library van. He even tried to take a pic through our letterbox the other day as Maggie was bending down to get the mail,he said it was for a medical journal..
oh and just for the record - the "judges" alluded to & who allegedly met the young lady originally residing in Arbroath were all elsewhere that day, just ask any of them if you require proof.
I myself was there only to check my creels, for crabs of course, lobsters being someone elses property, naturally.
Good day to you all.
Crawford Minty
PS New 5 bedroom pre-owned mobile homes now avail at the big house, suit working girls etc, dss approved, rates negotiable.Please contact Maggie Ann for details.
The whole things a disgrace, whatever it is, & whoever it was that did whatever it was which happened should be ashamed of themselves.
Hello there my good friend, Crawford Minty,
I'm sorry you had a bitty piffle. Nasty stuff when it gets stuck in your throat, especially once you've put your retainers in, or taken your teeth out, for the night and cannae spit so well. Very awkward when the bed is full, isn't it?
I'm pleased to hear that Big Maggie Ann has moved in and is bending down in the mornings okay. (Her rheumatism must be better with the dry weather. Yes, we like a bitty dry weather so we do.) We were all wondering if Big Maggie Ann had moved in. Can I be telling everyone over at the woolshop that it is official?
I'm glad you had the opportunity to check for crabs behind the shed and sorry that Twitter caught you on camera. That'll explain the scowl in the photo! I am presuming from the scowl that you found a few crabs, yes?
Regarding the new 5 bedroom pre-owned mobile homes now avail at the big house - I have a growing list of willing Polish bridesmaids, eager for wedding duties with accomodation. Do you think yourself and Big Maggie Ann could tie the knot so that we can give some Polish lassies a job?
Torquil
Hello there annonymous, my good friend,
Och, would be wanting a wee droppie cooking whisky to calm yourself down?
There's nobody deserving of anything that they shouldn't be expecting if they havenae done anything wrong in the first place, at least not so long as they havenae been seen doing what they say they didnae do, when they werenae doing it in order to be seen. Do you understand?
Hello Torquil, my paintings and I noted with interest Spanners comments on your main page. Do not disregard Big Maggie Anns input. We hang on her every word down the gossip circle...knitting circle. It seems to have slipped his mind that he receivd a sizable grant for improvements to the OLD ferry terminal many moons ago from the HIDB. We would advise extreme caution to the boy that plays down the pub regards said premises... does he really, really like clapdarnachs. Mr Spanners tried to sell us the same space as a versatile, roomy artists studio with pleanty natural daylight. Oh yes one cannot deny there certainly is "pleanty natural daylight"!!!
Regards, Fiona
Aye Aye Aye.... I just wondered when that old subject would bob to the surface, jist like the one that willnae flush away ! Aye we got a handsome grant from the HIDB and under the terms o'that very same grant I had to organise (in the cheapest venue I cuid find mind,the back room at the Pier Hotel) meetings between the HIDB and the owner...me, the principle contractor...Woodworm Willie, The sparkie...Startled Eric, and the architects...Mssrs Fleecem, Grabbitt & Run. By the time I set up all they damned meetin's and consultations there was nae bloody money left!!!!!! As for that gossip circle....isnt that the same hat that the artist lassies been knittin' for the last 14 years? Too much gossipin', no enough knittin' I'd say.
A "HAT" Mr Spanners. No. No. No!....its a balaclava. a bi-product of the Clapdarnach industry is wool of course (isn't that right Torquil) and its a hand knitted balaclava, from reclaimed wool, that is being knitted....for a very special friend.
Glad the balaclava's no for me!
I wud like to thank all the people that voted for me and for giving me the prize for ma photo, I no I was the best fotograffer and that my clapdarnach was the best and that the judges of the show wus rong, however I think that Fiona and her paintings deserve ma simpathy and that they'll win next time. I luk forward to meeting all the boys at the next festival - yours in deepest gartitude
Dierdre from Ardbroath
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