Local garage owner, Wullie Spanners, waits down at the pier, hoping to catch his Swarfega thief.
Little does Spanners know but, following a tip off from the ladies of the church guild's knitting circle, Daft Uisdean has now relocated his stall.
To be continued...
5 comments:
Hello Torquil, Hector here(freelance contributor to the wee paper), thanks for the tip off re work at the garage
Cheers
PS
Reports are coming in on the telex about the lifeboat being missing after someone supposedly "fell in" at the harbour.
Apparently the boat was later found full of creels,hidden near the old ferry terminal. A passer by who wished to be nameless said that a young lad had been seen lurking nearby, after apparently lubricating the old "slipway" with green grease or similar in an effort to refloat the stolen vessel.
Hello there Hector, my very good friend, Torquil here - speaking to you from the sheep pen,
Now Hector, wasn't it gossip like this that was responsible for your P45?
The ladies of the knitting circle tell me that it was a lass, not a lad, that was lurking down by the pier - aye, a lass with a load of paintings in pursuit. Rumor has it that he pushed her too far (with his polystyrene bits) so she pushed him in the drink with her broomstick.
Not sure who or what to believe here but the coastguard mannie might be able to tell us. I’m off to put my feet up and dial 999 for a long blether over a few cooking whiskies.
What a load of old rot you lot talk sometimes....I cannae vouch for the artist lassie but I was nowhere near the auld ferry terminal t'day....in fact I wis right up at the north beach doing some product research (see ma latest picture) Even someone as resourceful as masel'cannae be in two places at one time. Oh and by the way....I wis only lookin for somethin' nylon to get all they polystyrene bits off ma hands....I didnae mind if she wis wearin' em or not!!!!
Hello Torquil, I'm afraid I cant comment re the alleged lifeboat misplacement as I was at swimming lessons on the mainland at the time of the incident, if indeed there was such an incident.
I can confirm, however that the lifeboat is back in my garden & that Maggie Anne has taught me how to do the breast stroke.
Re missing persons from the vicinity of the pier, suggest PC Hugh Dunnetts jurisdiction - mine only starts once the garage fe..sorry, I mean a casualty has fallen in..
Is someone missing? We did find a sack full of unopened council tax bills washed up at last week, but thats normal as you know.
Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! This simply will not do! This is gossip that has NOT been sanctioned by the all knowing, all seeing laides. I am sure at our next knitting circle meeting we will explore every morsel and ruminate at great length. This news must have eminated from somewhere other than the ladies...unless we have a rogue in our midst!!!
Polystyrene...bits...Oh I feel faint at the thought!
Anyway back to the gossip, we believe that the individual with the paintings was wearing a large floral dress and two of the paintings seen were, I cringe, "prints" of "Monarch Of The Glen and", I cringe even more, "The Green Lady"!
I rest my case.
It wisnae me.
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