This photograph was taken by fisherman Duncan Ferris-Crabbs this morning, as the flying sheep swooped down over his trawler, Big Maggie Ann III.
Today's Island Courier reported, "Once again, Torquil's flying sheep have been spotted over the minch and island air traffic controller, Harry Uppenland, is livid. Harry said, "Torquil's flying sheep pose a perilous threat to both incoming and outgoing air traffic on the island and we must urgently install sheep scarers around runway perimeters. I have submitted the appropriate grant proposal to D.A.S.A.R.D. (The Dept. of Agriculture, Sanitation and Rumba Dancing). Up until now we have only had to deal with risks imposed by flocks of birds but thanks to the new Highland Island Enterprise Scheme, offering flying lessons to rural crofters, flocks of sheep have managed to bypass red tape and qualify for places on flying courses. This poses a grave threat to the future safety of air traffic control."
So far, Harry Uppenland reports that he has only had to deal with single sheep, as photographed above, but he says the reality of large numbers of sheep flying in flocks is becoing a huge concern.
D.A.S.A.R.D. report that they are seeking advice from local pilot and international entrepeneur, Cyril Nosecone and we will publish Cyril's reply in due course.
2 comments:
Ever since the cow jumped over the moon,not to be out done sheep across the world have been taking flying lessons. Research has shown that a sheep in flight poses no danger to other aircraft in the area. The only real risk is when they fly in groups they are mistaken for clouds. Indeed, with appropriate feeding and careful use of matches sheep can fly using F.A.R.T.S. Forward Activated Rectal Transit System. This can propel sheep at twice the speed of vomit. It is widely known that sheep do fly in formation and just as they do on the ground, when one moves the others follow, so they are safer than birds who fly randomly in all directions and do collide with jets. The only risk with sheep in flight is fuel dumping and this only occurs when an emergency landing is necessary and as such, sudden changes in feeding times or the introduction of new rams or ewes into the field are best avoided when sheep are in flight.
cafes and restuarants also encourage sheep to fly as it adds to the quality of their curry or shepherds pie. The Island Sheep are known to carry donor cards which states in the event of an accident they would like to be turned into a curry or shepherds pie at Anton the Chefs Cafe and to be served at the Annual Dinner of The Third Field Over if you need a Pee Club.
Ah was wondering why the hailstones were a funny green colour. I thought it was the Special Brew affectin' mah eyesight again.
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