The V.D. (Volunteer Department) on the island seeks new recruits to assist with various projects.
- “Priority assistance is sought to finish laying the runway at Sammy’s new airstrip,” said V.D. spokesperson Woodworm Willie.
Controversy still surrounds the airstrip project, officially known as The Strip Club. “The Strip Club has been inundated with insurance and funding problems, following Cyril Nosecone’s crash, and complaints are still forthcoming from the Ladies’ Church Guild. Since the disappearance of Mad Dolly and her three twin sisters, who were expelled from the Dunvegan Retirement Home for illicit gambling practices and for distilling gin in the hot water bottle cupboard, the Guild still insists that The Strip Club is harboring these refugees from Skye, exploiting the biddies as sex slaves,” said Willie. “Meanwhile, our Strip Club volunteers have been spread thin and we have an approaching completion deadline of March 18th, the day of the local air show.”
He continued, “Over the next few days, we need muscular guys to help expand the V.D. by laying and spreading over as many spots as possible along at the Strip Club."
- Clinical trial volunteers are also needed to ingest some of Torquil’s clapdarnach incense cones. “We are currently printing new labels for marketing and we still can’t decide whether to type “Harmful when swallowed” or “Fatal when swallowed,” said Woodworm.
- Lastly, a Time Capsule Project has been proposed by the Rev. Hellman Brimstone, an avid follower of T.V. series Star Trek. “Suggestions are needed for items to be placed inside a time capsule,” said Woodworm Willie. Imaginative suggestions can be given left in the comment section below.
8 comments:
I will donate 2 balls of Sirdar, forest green, double knitting wool, a pair of number 10 knitting needles and a knitting pattern for men's underpants to be placed in the time capsule.
The time capsule contents are to be kept secret usually, yes? I don't know why you tell contents.
Put Daft Uidean inside!
Danny has agreed to come to the airshow with me in his Biplane - but - he needs to know at which point over The Strip he can grab his joy stick and pull back on it to give the crowd a thrill.......
Torquil, just heard that one cannot smoke in Scotland anymore - how does this effect smoke from the Clapdarnachs?
Well, Cyril, we are having to light the clapdarnachs outside under canopies chust now and we canna even take our drinks outside to enjoy the clapdarnachs, because of the laws on alcohol in public places. It's terrible sad when you are as addicted to clapdarnachs as me, so it is.
Cyril, is it true that Danny was arrested?
Danny has indeed been arrested - although my all accounts the crowd loved it - next year he tells me he wants to do the same again but with no hands?
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