The tribunal hearing on racial discrimination claims by Barbara Blacksheep begins today. Barbara, a 3 year old immigrant ewe from the mainland, alleges that, ever since she was herded off the Caledonian MacBrains ferry, she has been unfairly victimised because of her breeding.
“Now I don’t do no cussin’ ‘bout I’s farmer and his lady wife, no sir. Them is really grand island peoples to graze for. I’s as fond of them as I can be. I’s proud like I done raised some fine Sunday leg roasts for I’s master. Yessiree,” said Barbara.
“But, us overseas ewes can’t pick up they turnips and just chew them into which-a-way they wants them to be. No sir. I done tired of tellin’ em farm hands that I’s bred on collard greens ‘n corn,” she said.
Barbara was growing visibly upset. “Course I still eats em but I tells you, Mister, I don’t know how long I going to be able to keep on at this here farm. Turnip’s hard and it done takes one long ass time to get through. However, that don’t bothers I none as much as the pushin’ and the shovin’ and the name callin’ by all em white ass hootchy-mama ewes.”
As the tribunal progresses throughout the week, we will be rejoining Barbara with exclusive reports on her alleged suffering at Seamus MacTaggart’s farm.
2 comments:
wheest Torquil, we can't have this made public or we'll lose the funding for next years big gig...equal hoppertunites and all that -
Okey Dokey Cyril. The boys are on to it. Angus the Godfather is ready and armed with a bar of soap and a fresh towel in his violin case. He'll take care of everything so don't worry about the funding.
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