Tribunal rules on "Barbara the imposter"

Yesterday the tribunal heard allegations of racial tensions at Seamus MacTaggart’s farm when Barbara Blacksheep claimed she was being unfairly victimised because of the colour of her wool.

Overnight, however, news was breaking to expect an early vote from the tribunal, so this morning I joined a gathering flock of cheviots to await a possible ruling on Barbara Blacksheep by the returning officer Winfrey Littleboy, who lives down the lane.

“Barbara Blacksheep, produced three bags full of evidence, when questioned about her wool. The Master and his Dame took possession of two bags and I have inspected the third bag. Our decision was unanimous – Barbara Blacksheep is an imposter and her case has been dismissed,” reported Winfrey Littleboy.

Overseas newspaper correspondents Maida Phibbs from “The Eigg Timer” and Liza White from "Benbecula Evening Ewes" asked, “What did the evidence tell you? How do you know that Barbara Blacksheep is an imposter?”

Winfrey Littleboy, with the help of PC Hugh Dunnett, produced a Shanks white enamel bathtub and PC Dunett proceeded to concoct one of his famous cucumber bubble baths. They coaxed Barbara Blacksheep into the bath.

A very sheepish Barbara was caught on camera, as her true colours were revealed.

Barbara has been referred to psychiatric services for a Baa-ckground check and a full report will be sent to Jean at the Woolshop.