"HOW TO BAKE A PERFECT VILLAGE IDIOT" - A Collection of Memoirs from the Highland Island - compiled by host Torquil Mhor
Work has begun on an historical collection of stories and memories from the island.
If your name appears in the list below, you are cordially invited to SUBMIT to the site for inclusion, beginning with the very early years.
Woodworm Willie, Daft Uisdean, Farquar Bogg, Cyril Nosecone, Rev. Hellman Brimstone, Kylie Madonna Britney Dolly MacTavish, PC Hugh Dunnett, 'Magnus the Bobby' from the mainland, Jean at the Woolshop, Murdina the Butcher, Big Maggie Ann, Ruby Hazelnut, Scotaidh the Prawn Packer, Máiréad and Erchie MacPhee, Coinneach Crow, Dr. Drew Blood, Barbara Blacksheep, Winfrey Littleboy, The Glenpuddle and Munroe First Crofters Memorial Brass Ensemble. Est 1862., The Asiatic Eskimos of Reykjavik Disco Dancers.
If your name does not appear, please submit your memoirs anyway and we’ll try to include them. Thanks to those who have already contributed.
At present, all work is unedited so in order to assist please do not drop litter, leave the seat up, or smoke in public areas.
See "MORE FROM TORQUIL HERE" on the left-hand column, for details.
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2 comments:
Regrets - I've had a few but then again too few to mention , my freens I've made it clear I've saw it through without protection - no protection - none there's times I'm sure you knew when I bit off more than I can chew but through it all when there was doubt I flew off into the sunset and saw what the world was about - I bought a plane and came home again and did it my way. I've loved I've laughed I've cried especially when I realise that Uisdeans a monster - it makes a change from being called a plonker. But I have a lovely nose. I was bullied at school and was always picked last fur the fitbah teams. When the ice-cream van came round and the wee chimes rang oot I was told that that mean't they had no ice cream left. I invested wisely and formed a very successful band and hope to play in the future. I've invested in a musical and hope to stage it along the same lines as "Feet of Flames" - maybe feet a muck. Don't know. Later I'll write a memoir of my awful teenage years and how I won a bet with Torquil and bought myself a ticket oot.
Anyway, the teenage years, when are you going to come down, when are you going to land, should have stayed on the farm, i should have listened to my old man, Aaah.aaah, ahhh, oooh ooh ooh ooh ooh, so there I was on top of the old piggery at the back of sammys hooose and they were taunting me about my hooter and how much I looked like Gerard Depardieu who came with his da on a wee schooner in the summer of 69. I got my first real six string and bought at a church auction and played til my sisters heed bled...should have known I'd never get far, anyway, I was making a toy airplane and Torquil kep tellin me. It''l never fly, it'll never fly, and I said til him that someday I'd fly my own plane. I was usin this special Pollyuraniumverydangerousifdingested paint and it says on the tin. Banned in The State of California - can cause respiratory problems and Torquil says - sure we'll never be in California so we're ok, but I said I would have a hoose in L.A. and he bet me 50pence. I won and invested it and moved from the island within ten years.
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