After many hours at the drawing table, the St. Mary’s Ladies Church Guild thrashed out technical problems on design hitches and came up with the ‘Spring Willie Device.’ The protégé, as pictured, was finally constructed by I.P. Knightly & Co. Ltd.
It is hoped that the hydraulically operated conveyor belt will be raised to a height of 12 foot 3 inches and then lowered over the edge of the prison wall, while Willie is out doing his 10 o’clock exercises in the court yard. After Willie has completed his warm up exercises, he’ll run up the ramp to the top of the Porterfield perimeter wall. The hydraulics will then pull our Willie over the wall and lower him to the ground on the other side, where he’ll run for the blue Ford Transit van, that will be waiting nearby. Thereafter, during a 30 minute drive north, Willie will dress as a train conductor and catch the Kyle bound train from Dingwall. (Does anyone know where we can hi-jack a train conductor's unform?)
Note to Willie - Daft Uisdean will be driving the van, disguised by a green balaclava! The code words are "Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, shake the tree,Agadoo-doo-doo, push pineapple, grind coffee,To the left, to the right, jump up and down and to the knees,Come and dance every night, sing with the hula melody. "
Does that sound okay, Willie, or will we just wait for your parole to come around next Thursday?
2 comments:
Torquil - I cannae get Uisdean as a named driver on my insurance certificate, but I've been able to get the Train Conductors Uniform - I bought a 1934 Train Conductors Uniform just today via an old friend who saw it up for auction. I'm having it delivered to Largs tonight
Rev. Hellman Brimstone here, Torquil.
Hello Cyril, I might be able to help here. If you will drive the van I will navigate. I've had a fair bit of success steering people away from prison life. And I've already written Sunday's sermon so I've got some spare time.
Good job getting the train conductor's uniform. I don't have a balaclava, though, so can I be permitted to wear one of Mrs. Brimstone's fishnet stockings over my head?
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