Tuesday, October 31, 2006

News from the island -

Murdina at the butcher’s shop has been conducting stem cell research and has grown some livers. She informs me that it tastes lovely, fried with onions and a bit of bacon. The price will be 3.50 a pound for locals and 6.50 for tourists.

Woodworm Willie has now had the hearse serviced for the upcoming flu season. He’s hoping for a good winter because he’s saving for a timeshare caravan at John O’Groats.

The Reverent Hellman Brimstone is currently having his organ serviced.

We’re awaiting confirmation that a raft has been spotted, drifting into the Bay of Biscay. As LDR (Lovely Day Radio) listeners know, we are still searching for Hamish the Bearded Clam Diver, Magnus and his new bride Besinia. Their boat sank out in the Minch last week and it is thought they managed to board an abandoned raft on a south bound tidal flow.

The Clapdarnach Group of Companies has now got the first batch of Christmas Clapdarnachs packaged for sale. This year we are experimenting with clapdarnachs from deer as well as from sheep. Special deer vindaloo, produced by Ravi Sing’s Asian Restaurant, has allowed us to produce beautiful yellow and orange colours in our deer clapdarnachs to accompany the lovely mint sauce green found in the lamb clapdarnachs.

The Ladies of the Church Guild are currently holding auditions for parts in the upcoming nativity play. They are still having difficulty finding suitable people to play the part of the three wise men. An IQ test will be posted in the next blog entry for all applicants.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

"It"

“It” has been driving me crazy for years now. Yes, I woke up this morning depressed about “it” again, so I’m finally going to do something about “it.”

You see ever since school I’ve been “it.” I was tagged just before the bell rang on the last day of school in primary six. After the summer, when I joined primary seven, the headmaster told us we were a bunch of rowdy tattiebogles, “Enough of your running about,” he said. “Walk, don’t run.” And, so that was “it.” I was doomed to be left in a state of “it” for ever more.

I’ve since dragged my feet through life, chin on my chest, wondering what to do about “it.” The older and taller I grew, the harder "it" became to get rid of “it.’

So, after another restless night, I came to a decision. If you are still reading this, then…

Tag! You’re “it!”

(Whew, that feels like an enormous weight has been lifted off my shoulders.)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

PROGRAMME THREE is ready!

"At last!" I hear you say, "Where have you been Torquil?"

Yes, I know I've been gone for a very long time but I was busy helping Jean and Daft Uisdean with the Lovely Day Radio show and some other things, too, so let me tell you what else I've been up to...

I now have a page on MySpace

But, the main reason I popped in to talk to you is to tell you that another Radio show is ready for you -

So, Lovely Day Radio Programme Three, is now ready here!

Now I'll be back in a bitty, as I've just got to soak my bunion in a basin of epsom salts. I promise I won't be gone long this time.