"At last!" I hear you say. "We can finally stop all our groping in the dark."
Cyril Nosecone has just reported that the lighthouse is safe and well and was delivered down his chimney on Christmas morning.
He's now asking for volunteers to help with its relocation back to the rocky headland. So, once you have dispensed with your excesses of cooking whisky, turkey vindaloo and stale mince pies, could you all be washing behind your ears and lining up in a neat row down at the ferry terminal, complete with warm knitted underwear, shovels and plumb lines (we don't want any leaning lighthouses)?
In other words, once the Christmas overages are out, the pre-Christmas outages will be over, (and then we can say "over and out" to the coast guard mannie, who now insists that the lighthouse is still missing.)
NB - Applications are now being accepted again for light housekeeping duties.
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5 comments:
Hello there my VERY good friend, Torquil, it's Iva Barebumski here. I want much to line up in neat row but I'm not having warming knitted under garments. Can any islander give me warming under-garments?
Down Cyrils chimney indeed! He's all electric.Glad he found it though, we can stand down the wrecking crew now,oops sorry, I mean lifeboat. My chopper's turned up too, thankfully - it was spotted in Tobermory.
Hello there my friend (just friends now, okay?) Iva. I might have a spare pair of mother's bloomers in the airing cupboard that you could borrow, so that you can be standing yourself in a straight row. Weve been using them to insulate the hot water tank, so they'll be nice and warm. Daft Uisdean might have a spare pair, too (no Uisdean put those back on now. I didn't mean the ones that you're wearing today). Hope that helps, Iva.
Hello there coastguard mannie, my good friend. I'm glad to hear that your chopper's turned up, but very sorry to hear that it was spotted when you went to Tobermory. If you pop over later I might have a bitty clapdarnach cream for that. Mother says it works grand on her chaffing. (I must remember to cut a few inches off the top of her wellies - she's got such wee legs.) Aye, but if you dinnae use the cream your chopper will surely be turned down.
All electric, you say? I haven't seen an electric chimney before. Cyril always has the latest gadgets, doesn't he?
Oh, how I long for the days of gas chimneys! These all-electrics are so phony -especially with the extension cord running across the carpet.
I also remember fondly the days of gas guitars, before the electrics were invented. Unfortunately, one day, as I was performing my rendition of "Pass The Biscuits Mirandy", my pilot light blew out and I nearly affixiated everyone in the place.
I suppose that is why my family was forced to leave the isles so many centuries ago - not enough attentoin piad to detial.
Thoroughly enjoy the site!
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