We’re all a bitty depressed here on the island - not a single Happy New Year hangover left on the whole of the island. Since Jean dismantled the woolshop and hauled it across to the mainland on the ferry, hand knitted underpants have been selling on eBay and the black market down by Spanners’ garage at grossly inflated prices that only the tourists can afford, as hand-knitted-underpant-enthusiasts fear a shortage of their favorite commodity. The mobile woolshop, run by Daft Uisdean, doesn’t sell a single ball of wool, just hundreds of tins of Swarfega.
Murdina’s sausage machine jammed when a goat skin entwined around a can of Carlsberg Special Brew causing a clog at the mincer head (Farquar Bogg from The Department of Agriculture, Sanitation and Rumba Dancing is coming over in whilie with the industrial hoover, though.)
The clutch is slipping on the new clapdarnach harvester that I hired from that Wullie Spanners, so production of clapdarnach incense cones have temporarily ground to a halt.
Lastly, Crawford Minty and Big Maggie Ann have moved into the big hoose and we’re no sure what is more frightening – the smile on Big Maggie Ann’s face, now that she’s edged her way into the big hoose, or the poltergeist up in the attic. All will be revealed soon.
So, aye, we’re all a bitty down in the dumps.
But, Wullie Spanners has promised to fix the clapdarnach harvester, which gave me an idea…
“The Prettiest Clapdarnach - Photo Contest”
I will be holding a competition to find the bonniest photo of a clapdarnach. Anyone wishing to participate should send me a photo of, or a link to a photo of, their potential prize-winning clapdarnach. (highlandisland@verizon.net )
The most imaginative clapdarnach photo will win some lucky person a day trip for two in Wullie Spanners’ new clapdarnach harvester (complete with new clutch).
6 comments:
I sent mine in taken with my very expensive 2000 mill lens with auto reverse shutter speed and 30 mpg rewind with 0 to 60 in two seconds. Why have I not been told I've won.
Hello there Cyril, my good friend, I'm afraid you will have to have a bitty patience as we won't be judging the photos for a wee while yet. Once Jean gets back to the island, we were going to ask her to pick a winner. You see the traveling woolshop doesn't have a letter box, yet.
I was wondering if Cyril and the Nosecones have any new songs.
Hello Torquil, I think you'll find there is one New Year hangover left...one and one's paintings do not wish to point the horny finger...Mr. S. Talking of whom, we were not amused about the provincial mutterings regarding a 3 week clapdarnach wine induced liaison with the afore mentioned gentleman. I had a bad cold and we suspect he was otherwise incapacitated! We are optimistic about our winning entry regarding the prettiest clapdarnach, if this wretched headache ever ceases...bear with me.
Regards, My paintings and I.
Crawford here Torquil - I'm afraid I cant enter the competition - my Brownie Box Dogmatic camera keeps steaming up & not focusing soon as I try to catch a fresh clapdarnach action pic.
Good luck to everyone else, though. I'm off to get my eyesight checked,I just asked my next door neighbour why I was in his house.
Ok - Cyril told me that ma photo had won and he'd make sure I'd won and that I'd get ma sell a trophy and a sertificut fer ma wall. So have a won or hav a no...
Hello there my good friends, you are going to have to be calm as there are still more entries to come in yet.
Currently, the Iron-age clapdarnach is causing great interest, found, of course, by the boy who plays down the hotel. I'm told that photos will follow soon...
Post a Comment