Sunday, April 01, 2007

Daft Uisdean needs help

Business entrepreneur, Daft Uisdean is selling empty crisp bags full of Swarfega to the tourists down at the ferry terminal. (Two quid for packets of Cheese and Onion and two fifty for Prawn Cocktail.)

He has set up a table, with a clean floral table cloth, and all the crisp bags are in neat rows. However, business is not what he expected. For some reason, the tourists are not keen to buy. He's baffled!

Uisdean thought that sales would pick up if maybe he had a catchy logo that he could write on a sign. He is busy practicing his joined up writing but needs help to think up an appropriate logo or catch phrase.

Can you help? (Send your entry in the comments section below.)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Torquil, a source close to the family told me your pal Crayfish Minty was last week down at the Ferry Terminal, speaking to his new stepson Daft Uisdean (who was repairing a shed with a roll of duck tape which had two geese and a chicken stuck to it) -apparently he was rubbing his hands gleefully whilst enthusiasing to Uisdean about how they might soon "clean up the lobster market" using Maggie Anne's crab creels, so long as everyones hands were clean if they were caught...so heres a logo for u -
"Maggie Anne's crabs are bigger than most
taste just like lobsters,lovely on toast
Cost not a penny,Uisdean you see
is giving them off with swarfega for free"

Torquil Mor said...

Hello there my good friend Hector, from down at the local paper,

Sorry to hear that you were given your P45 again. Och, but you cannae be printing all that slander and gossip, though. No, the ladies of the knitting circle don’t like to read about anything that they haven’t previously connived, invented or sanctioned.

Anyway, yes, that’s a nice wee ditty, but we’ve had a bit of gossip from our overseas Crustacea Correspondent from Baton Rouge that might interest you.

Our un-named source, called Bubba Gumbo, writes, “Rumor has it that a woman with a tooth, fitting Maggie Ann’s aroma, was identified by our Southern Louisiana prawn detector truck, flashing her exoskeletons in local bars during Mardi gras. Local gossips said Maggie Ann, who has six outstanding warrants from 1992, was last seen soliciting her crabs on street corners here in Baton Rouge. Crayfish Minty needs to know that she’s been having Red Swamp Crawfish on the side.”

Now bear in mind Hector, that the ladies of the knitting circle haven’t sanctioned Bubba Gumbo’s gossip yet. Okay?

Hector, I hear that there’s a job going down at Wullie Spanners’ garage sweeping floors, if you are interested. It’s a job share opportunity, together with Daft Uisdean, where you might be called upon to either hold the brush or the shovel. Better ‘brush up’ on both techniques just in case. The job comes with free Swarfega, I'm told.

Anonymous said...

Logo!!! I'll give him logo when I get my hands on him, he knows why!!! How about:-
"Roll up, Roll up,
Uisdean beware,
Wullies Swarfega,
Yer thieving nae mair,
Wullies a lurkin,
doon by the pier,
tae catch ye red handed,
Ye'd better stay clear"
Catchy ain't it!!!!!!!!