Grab a bargain.
Doors open at 9 am on Monday January 4th, 2010.
Limited stock - Hand-knitted underpants with three leg holes for the price of two.
10% off Special offer – Suffer from Jock Itch? Try our fast-acting sheep dip. Just wear your hand-knitted woolen underpants in the bath and add a sachet of “Crabs Be Gone” to the water. (Caution – skin irritant. May cause drowsiness. Common side effects include – memory impairment, hair loss, rapid weight gain, chronic flatulence, memory impairment, hair loss, memory impairment, rapid weight gain, memory impairment, chronic flatulence, memory impairment, memory impairment, and memory impairment.)
2010 EVENTS AT THE WOOL SHOP -
New at the wool shop –
Spinning wheel classes. First muddy Sunday in January. Bring your own tyres, clutch and hand brake cable.
Knitting needle exchange programme - No awkward questions asked. Safe disposal box available for used knitting needles. The wool shop needle exchange offers a large range of equipment for many different types of wool use and advice on safer casting-on techniques and harm reduction. Free family pattern planning on request.
Always practice safe knitting!
Remember – if you find a used knitting needle, do not touch it. If it is in a public place PLEASE phone the Wool Shop to arrange to have it picked up. Remember the exact location and if possible stay at the site until the Wool Shop Team arrive.
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12 comments:
Can I have a flying pair as i'm not allowed to wear pants anymore going through airports, two holes will be suffice.
Signed:
Cyril Nosecone.
Why won't it let me sign in as ME ! Torquil, any feedback yet from the producers of The Islands Got Talent yet..filming is bound to start soon.
Cyril, I've disabled the comment moderation for you. See if that allows you to post as ME now. I hope Big Maggie Ann doesn't post her swears again, though.
We've had a bit of a competition here between The Y-Front Factor and The Island's Got Talent. Regardless of who gets the contract, auditions start after the New Year. Want to be on the judging panel?
Oh Bless You !
Very bad times, these new xray scanners at the airport are very embarrassing - I went through one yesterday and they told me I had better sort out my hiatus hernia.
Yes please do put me on the judging panel if Dierdre from Ardbroath isn't playing.
Ruby Hazelnut, from the dancing-by-numbers group, had terrible problems with the xray scanner on Benbecula. She put her right leg in and took it out again, in and out, and then shook it all about. According to her dancing-by-numbers routine, and quite correctly, she repeated the process with her left leg, right arm and left arm, before putting her whole self through the machine, by which time she missed her flight.
I think Deirdre does plan to audition. Any ideas on a way round this? We really need your input.
Hello Torquil my friend,
my paintings and I were just wondering whether perchance Jeans' best customer for the sachets of sheep dip might be a local mechanic. Were she to make sure that said mechanic knows there's 10% off we are confident that her overstock will no longer be of issue.
regards,
Fiona and her paintings.
Hello there Fiona and her paintings, I'll give Wullie a bell and tell him about the Jock Itch powder. However, I keep telling him not to share his underpants with Fat Boy the cat, at least not until Fat Boy gets a flee collar. Handbag-size dogs with fashion clothes and accessories is one thing but Fat Boy needs to get over himself with this greasy underpant phase that he's on.
I trust your paintings had a colourful New Year?
Let Dierdre audition. I'll judge and I'll pretend I don't know her, she'll understand..as long as she wins, if not I'll have to pitch my idea, When Good Tractors Go Bad..
Cyril, I have a choice of two disguises at hand, if you want one. a) the back end of a pantomime camel. b) the front end of a pantomime camel.
Let me know who will be in front if I take the back. Then we'll seal the deal, all depends on the view.
Splendid Torquil, that's a lucrative start to the new year for Jean then!
We fear said gentlemans ailments cannot be blamed on the cat on this occasion as the weather has been a tad inclemmant rendering said pussy a little less sociable than usual.
Fiona and her paintings
PS. We had a whitish New Year which one assumes covers the spectrum.
Now hold the bus here folks.....Whats all this about Jock Itch....I'll have you know that Fat Boy the garage cat is totally flea free and is welcome tae sleep on ma underpants anytime he see's fit. Any itchyness is down tae corrosion due tae lack o' use.....This is smethin' I can remedy.....Watch out ladies....Spanners is on the razz.....
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