Tuesday, July 05, 2016

All this nonsense about leaving the eEwe

For goodness sake, take a lesson from Little Bo Peep.  Now Ms Bo Peep she lost her eEwe and didn't know where to find it.  'Leave it alone and it will come home wagging its tail behind it', was the advice given  back then.  And, everyone lived happily ever after.

Did you listen to the advice given?  Did you leave the eEwe alone?  No you didn't.  You had to go stravaging off to the polling station down in the back room of Jean's wool shop and put your cross in a box.  Some of you voted to get the eEwe back while others wanted the eEwe to get to France and join Le Gigot d'Agneau party.

Now did the eEwe get a say in whether it stayed with the flock or whether trailed its clapdarnachs all the way to France to join Le Gigot d'Agneau party?  No it didn't and before she loses another leg to Le Mint Sauce Brigade can we think again?

I call upon you all to, therefore, sign the following petition (by signing in the comments box) to have the eEwe referendum overturned, so that Edna the eEwe can make her own mind up whether to stay or go.

Yours respectfully

The Flock

P.S.  As Edna the eEwe only has three legs now, could Woodworm Willie help with some prosthesis?




8 comments:

Torquil Mor said...

I hereby sign the petition to allow Edna to make her own mind up.

Och its an awful shame. Poor Edna doesn't know whether she's coming or going now. She thinks we don't like her because of the colour of her fleece. She insists that she went into the sheep dip with all the others.

Anonymous said...

Hullo everybody, Woodworm Willie here speaking to my good friends, so I am.

No 1. - Now before I sign anything I need a drink so I wilnae sign beggar all without you giving me some some vintage cooking whisky. Just bring it to the mortuary.

No 2 - I'll be back in a minute but can you first tell me where you hid the toilet paper?

No 3 - Ive got a spare leg of lamb marinaded in some cooking gin somewhere in the mortuary freezer. Well, now, actually it might not be lamb. No, in fact it might be Bella MacDougal's missing leg from the New Year funeral back in 1988. I'll check, but would Edna the eEwe be offended if the prosthesis belonged to Bella MacDougal? Im sure Bella won't mind. She was a great knitter and loved sheep.

Anonymous said...

Darlings,
Cyril here...now...the future of the eEwe must be decided by Reverend Endumm. There needs to be a meeting with Reverend Endumm at the earliest opportunity as he presenting top gear at this years Island FATE. Given all the news about freedom of movement the Island Laxative Committee need to be convened soon.
Im busy with severe competition from all these drones, like, Coldplay and Gareth Barlow and the like, I haven't had a decent delivery flight in a long time

Anonymous said...

Oh am I here? It's Jean, from the wool shop. Now please don't shout at me because I voted for the eEwe to leave. Im sorry but my reasons are both business-related and personal. I really didn't want Edna breeding with French sheep. French sheep are muscular and bred for meat, with very short fleeces. This is of no use to my wool shop. Sorry. If you forgive me I will give you 10 % off all hand knitted underpants.

Anyway, in fairness to all, I agree that the best way is to let Edna make up her own mind where she wants to go and so I hereby sign the petition xxx

Anonymous said...

Seamus the sheep shagger says 'fuck the eEwe'

Anonymous said...

Oh now Seamus, can you call round to the wool shop, like a good soul, till I wash your mouth out with some of my lovely carbolic soap, please? (Priced 86p per bar for locals and £2.10 for tourists.) Also available are 3 pairs for the price of 4 pairs of double knitting, racing green summer underpants hand-knitted in 3 ply wool - priced £80.00 .

Torquil Mor said...

Cyril, come in Cyril. Testing, Testing, One Two. I just bought myself a new Karaoke mic . It’s a Shure thing, so it is. Anyway, while I was practicing harmonies for you on our cover version of A Sky Full Of Stars, a meteor landed on our revival tent down by the ferry terminal. I rescued our best tracks, Viva la Vida and A Million Love Songs but they are smoke damaged and I fear that the of the ladies of the church guild have been char grilled. Can you tell Reverend Endumm that we’ll be needing an eEwe grant to cover our losses, or add it to the agenda for our meeting? Oh yes and can you ask him if his top gear is 4, 5 or 6? You see my old Vectra automatic that he wanted to borrow for the fete only has 4, (1,2,3,4,D,N,R,P)

With regard to the freedom of movement the Island Laxative Committee I thought we could run this past Wullie Spanners at the garage, then Murdina in the butcher’s shop and Jean at the wool shop. Daft Uidean will be on standby with his wheelbarrow and shovel at the ferry terminal if the motion runs on any longer.

Your good friend, Torquil

Anonymous said...

Please dont be angry with me for not voting in thon e ewe vote, I tried but I was too late to vote due to trusting in the powers that be who/which shut the polling station a minute early. That kind of thing just wouldnt happen in the e ewe you know, its a disgrace, shoddy altogether. Im considering writing to someone in the strongest possible terms.
Regards
Crawford Minty.
Ps does the Wool Shop still stock undergarment repair kits please?