Friday, July 14, 2006

Message from Jean

The second show of Lovely Day Radio is coming along nicely but Jean has broken some finger nails while out at sea, hauling in her lobster creels. She really wants to look her best for the radio show, so there will be a short delay in the production, while Jean guzzles some jelly cubes, buys a new emery board and prepares her No. 23 "crimson swirl delight" varnish.

Other News -

The Fish Festival is underway here on the island. So, here are today's prize winners.

  • Best fish joke - Daft Uisdean
  • Best fish impersonation - Daft Uisdean
  • Fishery protection prize - Daft Uisdean and his WWI canon
  • Most body parts in a fish bowl - Daft Uisdean
  • Leaping the waterfall - Daft Uisdean
  • 2006 prize for bottom feeder choreography - Daft Uisdean
  • HMS Titanic Prize for iceberg relocation - Daft Uisdean for moving most icebergs to the Nowegian fjords

News flash -

Our underwater correspondant, Sven Johansen, has just reported that Oslo is now completely underwater.

Lovely Day Radio, Programme 2, will be coming soon to your ears, so stay tuned.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Just got a call from Maxmillion DeSentar and he wants to know if you want the big dipper or not? I have it ready for freight and will transport it there as soon as you can. Its a pity cos it could have been ready for the fish festival. By the way - did anyone get crabs?

Anonymous said...

Could I please have my Sky dish that you wrenched off the top of our submarine in mistake for a lobster creel. The crew are in uproar cos they missed The Disney Channel last night.

Anonymous said...

OK I've got a grant to convert the yellow submarine into a cafe. Given the success of the fish festival I think it could be a fish restaurant but I don't know if people could find it ok. Also, Anto Chef may not be happy at the competition. I've a few menu ideas like Periscope Pie..with the caption..eat it until you can't see, or ballast tank sorbe..anyhow. I'll be in contact soon was the money comes through. I was thinking that I might be able to "cream off " some for other improvements we could make on the island...like for example...an extended runway...or a coffin museum...

Anonymous said...

Crawford Minty here - did you get my advert re Crawfords pre-owned Caravan Relocation Consultancy? The clapdarnach season may well occasion an enhanced requirement for my services,(all dss benefit approved), a boon here at the big house.

Torquil Mor said...

Oh there you are Crawford. I saw that you'd left a message but I couldn't find it. Here it was in my sock drawer all the time.

Yes, Jean said she'll gladly do an advert on the show for you.

Now, PC Hugh Dunnett was wanting his "crime prevention van" towed from empoudment on the mainland. He says, can you pay the fines and get it an MOT, too, and he'll tear out the page from his wee notebook about the "incident" when he caught you and big Maggie Ann at the salmon poaching? If that's not suitable, how much will you charge?

Anonymous said...

There's been an awful mix up - PC Hugh Dunnett's van is at Police HQ on the mainland after being found with all the missing antiques from the big house here in the back of it!

We had just got the insurance payout for them,thanks to his help with the forms,too!

Please dont tell the listeners re Big Maggie & I - we only SAID to PC Hugh Dunnett that we were poaching - he must have guessed that due to the fishy smell,which turned out to have been crabs in the glove box!

Might be better if he just calls Woodworm Willie - he could perhaps give him a tow with his hearse.

Torquil Mor said...

First of all Crawford, Willie wants to know if you are related to his friend Murray, you know... Murray Mint - he's an extra strong polo player for the Tic Tac After Eights riding club down at Creme de Menthe park. His father was called Hal.. you know Hal A Toesus.

Anyway, where were we...

PC Hugh DidnaeDunnett says you'll have to give back the insurance money, or else he'll have to submit his report that you gave big Maggie Ann the crabs!

Willie also says he can't use the herse because he's getting an engine tune up ready for the flu season.