-Have you been jilted by Wullie Spanners lately?
-Is there something that you need to get off your chest about Wullie Spanners?
-Do you have a secret crush on Wullie Spanners?
-Has Wullie Spanners been unfaithful to you?
-Has Wullie Spanners been servicing more than you wife's car?
-Is Wullie Spanners the father of your child?
-Need a date with Wullie Spanners?
Write to Daft Uisdean about it, in the comments section below...
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
Uisdean YER FIRED so ye are !
Dear Uisdean,
The moment I smelled the muskiness of his boilersuit, I confess I opened up my bonnet and let him take a look. He said I had the best manifold he’d seen all week! When I saw him reach for the dipstick to check my lubrication…
…then, he ditched me for that painted lady, again.
How can I stop that painted lady from using her oils on my Wullie?
Sagatha Sedgewick MacSodden (age 67 3/4)
Dear Uisdean,
Tell that old bird, Sagatha Sedgewick MacSodden (age 67 3/4) to keep her hands aff my Wullie! I seen him first!
Big Maggie Ann
NO NO NO SAGATHA !!!!!
I utterly, utterly implore you to follow your amarous desire. I assure you that William J Spanners and I are the most distant of aquaintances. May one respectfully suggest this Wullie is definately up for grabs, I too have smelt the...um...muskiness of his boilersuit, albeit from a respectful distance. Please don't be dissueded by his aparent shyness. I have it on good authority that the more reluctant he appears the more interested in a particular lady he really is.
Regards,
Fiona and her non amarous paintings
Dear Readers,
An anomaly has just surfaced -- it has come to my attention that Daft Uisdean is illiterate and, therefore, cannot answer your correspondence.
Furthermore, mistaking the meaning of 'agony column', he has been asked to dismantle the torcher chamber that he had designed for the purpose of inflicting 'agony' on anyone who wrote to him.
May I take this opportunity to say, "Get Well Soon, Sagatha," and "I'm so terribly sorry that Daft Uisdean chopped off you Big Toe with that axe."
Can I ask anyone else who has participated on this thread to check that they still have all 10 fingers and 10 toes?
If you find any missing, please report to the local Police Station. P.C. Hugh Dunnett, will be happy to look in the "Lost Property Fridge", where I believe he is holding a selection of digits 'on ice'.
Thank you
So,PC Dunnett's been pointing a finger in the direction of Mr Spanner's place? Dont get me wrong, I like both him and the Apprentice lad( he looks at bit like me sometimes..) but...well,I entrusted my Wolseley to them a few years ago for overdrive repair but it was NEVER fixed. Subsequently they kept my car (locked away in a ex-Royal Observer Corps underground bunker the key of which Uisdean lost). A huge bill arrived though,for other work I never asked to be done (fitting window boxes, a drinks cabinet, blooming heather holder "c/w grille fixings" etc etc). I've now discovered that Spanner's Discovery has been fitted with the seats from my car so yes, I feel let down by him too & intend to sue him for loss of earnings I've incurred over the last 11 years due to my lack of transport, also for fitting my Mum's Austin with wheels which go the wrong way.
Good day to you all.
Daft Uisdean, says "I spy some Minty digits for the chop...He He He He He. Off with his toes. He He He He He."
Post a Comment