In light of the imminent take-over bid of The Highland Island, it is believed that Pinocchio’s Fabrication Yard is having a sale – we can’t be sure, though.
Sale items –
Individually fabricated smoke screens, tailored accordingly.
Freshly painted white lies.
The gardening department now delivers economy bags of bull shit.
In the cosmetic department soft soap is rumoured to be cheap.
String-along toys are available for Christmas.
A staff member is always at hand in dodgy knitwear to spin yarns and pull the wool over your eyes for a spectacular fleece.
The artful, crafty and designing department is offering nothing on sale this time around.
In eyewear, Pinocchio can soon have you framed with his buy one for yourself and then buy another for him offer.
Finally, Pinocchio’s Fabrication Yard would like to keep quiet about the Giant Whoppers available every lunchtime in the take away van to the rear of the premises. If you don’t eat meat, then Pinocchio can always rustle up something fishy for you. Hot Double-Cross Buns will be available in time for Easter and half-truth portions are readily available for your kids.
Please note that Pinocchio’s Yard is not open for business until 1 pm, due to the necessity of his long lies.
Unfortunately Pinocchio’s phoney number can not be provided due to summer bugs.
More information available about The Highland Island buy-out, and details of new owners, coming soon.
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3 comments:
Ma tha gaol agad air rud, leig mar sgaoil e; ma thilleas e, tha e leat-sa gu siorruidh, mur a till, cha robh e an dàn dhut.
= if you love something, let it go free: if it returns, it is yours forever, if it does not return, it was not fated for you.
I would be inclined to say "cha robh e riamh an dàn dhut" - it was never fated for you - just for the rhythm of the sentence.
Dear not-very-anonymous-because-Daft-Uisdean-checked-your-ip-address-your-internet-supplier-phone-connection-town-etc, Hello there!
The Highland Island Council on Copyright Protection, has found you guilty of incorrect cutting and pasting. Inselstricken, your source and the original translator of this saying, intended the final sentence as ‘their adaptation’ for the improvement of the rhythm of the sentence. We hereby find you guilty of claiming the translation and said additional improvement as your own work. (ie, it was Inselstricken who replaced the phrase “robh e” with the phrase “robh e riamh” thereby changing ‘not’ to ‘never’.) Our ‘sentence’ for incorrect or illegal cutting and pasting is to serve an 8 week apprenticeship in the Artful, Crafty and Designing Dept. of Pinocchio’s Fabrication Yard, in order to improve your cutting, pasting and remaining anonymous skills.
Haste ye back but cheerby for now then,
Hazy
The Highland Island Bard
Dear Anonymous(es), We have a wonderful invention here at The Highland Island, called a moderator's delete button. Let me tell you how it works. Each time you post nasty comments, Daft Uisdean files them in my 'in tray'. After I read them, I push down on that wonderful invention - the delete button.
Why not take a wee holiday and put your feet up for a whilie? I'm not upset but my button pushing finger needs a rest.
A holiday is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.
After a wee holiday away from eachother, when you come back and look at a situation, it often seems better. You might even agree that the break did you good.
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