NEWS FLASH!
Earlier today, a raft was located drifting off the North African coast. Its three weather-beaten occupants have been transferred to the Spanish fishing vessel, El Pescador Loco.
By 6 pm, Jean at the woolshop received a ship-to-shore call from Hamish the Bearded Clam Diver to confirm that the three survivors were indeed himself, Magnus and Besinia.
More news from Hamish soon…
The day-to-day life of island teuchters - "We boldy go where no ram has gone before"
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THE CLASSIFIED ADS SECTION
THE WOODWORM COFFIN COMPANY, LTD.
Choose your own engraving and get your headstone erected now, so that you won't lie there regretting it later.
See your local undertaker, Woodworm Willie, for bargain stones.
THE CLAPDARNACH GROUP OF COMPANIES
CLAPDARNACH WINERIES
provide quality hangovers - why see pink elephants when we can show you rainbow trout.
CLAPDARNACH COSMETICS
bringing you fine face creams from fine ewes, straight from their cheeks to yours.
CLAPDARNACHS FOR CHRISTMAS
scented aphrodisiac incense cones for burning, now in three perfumes Roast Lamb with Mint,
Turkish Lamb Kebab Delight and Erotic Lamb-burger.
4 comments:
Torquil,
I'm just off Tenerife at the moment and fuel is running low do you want me to call into Madrid and collect the survivors cos I'm doing the North Ronaldsay Post run again in the morning.
Hola fae the sunny canary islands!
Man it's affay hot here and thae dinnae have any special brew - just yon sangria. Still, it's runny an' it get's ye drunk. El Braw!
Also - the clams here are dead funny - the locals call them "mountain oysters". No shell or nutthin. Magnus said they were the bollocks, i didnae think they were that great though.
I got Jean's message on El Telephone (that spanish, pure dead brilliant, eh?) and ah dinnae think that ah'd make a good bachelor seeing as ah've got an ex-wife, but if yer man want's any tips on gettin' a wumman ah'm the right one tae dae it! El Braw!
By the way, is the vet's job still going? Think I'll have to lie low for a bit in case the coast guard nip by.
El Braw, eh?
hello there Cyril my good friend, As you can read from Hamish's note, I think he's enjoying the climate. Jessie-Mary at North Ronaldsay is waiting for her thigh boots that she bought from eBay, so she's asking if you can just deliver the mail as quickly as you can. Her man, Sandy John, is starting to resist the handcuffs - so hurry.
Julio Fernando here and my mother complains again, she no like drinking sangria and no like talking thigh boots. my mother she want know when you get spanish subtitles. she want know too why you call boat "crazy fisherman". she upset now at gringas mocking spanish peeples.
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