Reports are coming in that Daft Uisdean has misplaced the Gents' Toilet down at the ferry terminal. He is not available for comment.
The toilet has been described as durable plastic, black in colour, with a metal handle and a rim circumference of about 12 inches. It is not clear at this point whether it was full.
When asked if the toilet had been stolen, P.C. Hugh Dunnitt would only say, “I have nothing to go on.”
The day-to-day life of island teuchters - "We boldy go where no ram has gone before"
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5 comments:
Seems some Russian visitors jumped the gun down at the public loos Torquil - they thought sign said "TO LET" and removed it as they had alreay paid Mr Spanners a fair offer for use of the facility. They are seeking planning permission for a change of use to Tortoise Relocation Facilty/Community Arts Collective & have secured grant funding from Hifarts, the well known arts collective who distribute funding among themselves for projects unheard of among the general public & known only to a select few all of whom wear long black coats and are rather strange in a oddly endearing way.
Torquil,
Its been a while, I've been round the world investigating economic climate change, I've a Super Injunction here, where do you want it delivered??
Cyril Nosecone
Hello there anonymous, my good friend,
Plans for the much needed toroise relocation centre have been crawling along extremely slowly for many years now. In fact, there have been many periods of hibernation, following our unsuccessful application for a grant from Shell UK. So, on the one hand Islanders welcome the HiFarts grant, but we are not so happy about the other two hands as they appear to be covered in swarfega and clutching a wad of notes somewhere in the dark, nether regions of a very nasty boilersuit.
I'll give PC Hugh Dunnett a call...
Cyril! Where have you been, my good friend?
According to rumours on SillyTwitter.com, the bucket has been found safe and well. However, the department of health and hygiene were forced to issue a gagging order each time someone tried to empty the bucket of its 'ripe' contents.
I wish I could could tell you where to deliver the super injunction but unfortunately I'm not allowed to disclose the drop-off coordinates yet. So, don't land yet, Cyril. Can you keep circling at an altitude of 4,000 feet and I'll get back to you as soon as I can?
could you post it on Twatter where to drop it off....I cannae change the laws of physics Jim...
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